Accidentally Serious

Josh:

When I got home last night I tried to upload videos via my internet, but alas, it didn't work. I decided to take drastic measures and created a YouTube account. Once the videos finish uploading I will link them in another post. If you are ever bored, (and I manage to get around to it) feel free to check out the rest of the videos I put up there. For now, enough shameless plugs. Let's move onto the good stuff.

The weekend after my trip to the agriculture center we went to Songtan (the place near the military base) again to find the rumored smaller Mexican food place with the mythical ground beef (a hard find in Korea). After just a few minutes of hunting, we found it and promptly ran inside. The owner there spoke English very well and was very nice. He had a good sense of humor and when I asked," Can I get a burrito with nothing but beans, rice and beef, please?" he replied immediately, "So no tortilla, right?" I know that kind of humor is eye roll worthy but I thought it was amusing. We started talking to him and found he is a really cool guy. He first started the conversation off with,

"You guys are teachers, right?"
To which we proudly said, "Yes, indeed."
"I thought so. I can smell the difference."

Upon typing that out I don't think his true point came across. He meant a metaphorical smell. There is a difference in the way one acts (I'm trying to be the least offensive as possible because I do truly appreciate everyone in the military) and the way one presents him or herself to the world. At least for us, we try to present a positive and friendly image and some others may or may not try to present a similar image, military or teachers alike. My overall point is that the guy at the Mexican food place enjoyed our company.

After some small talk he brought out our burritos and they were actually really good. Not as fantastic as that first night when we discovered Mexican food in Seoul but not nearly as disappointing as my first Mexican food experience in Songtan. I would say it was really enjoyable. The ground beef was amazing for the first couple of bites but later became a little chewy about halfway through the burrito. The refried beans (or imitation refried beans) and the rice turned out to be pretty good. Overall, I was so satisfied that I went and got another burrito (without the ground beef this time). Because we both order strangely (especially me) he gave us a look and then said, "Okay, if that's what you want." We often get fairly large reactions to our strange orders here (as mentioned before).

We hung out at the burrito place for quite some time because the owner was a lot of fun to talk to. We learned the he has family in America, he learned about where we were from and then the subject changed to something called "Juicys". For those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, these are women who dress in the most revealing clothing humanly possible and hang around bars trying to meet foreigners. They are usually from another country and are in Korea with a Visa for "singers" at a bar. Technically they are employed but most of the time, they actually aren't. Their goal is to get pregnant off of military personnel or any foreigners for that matter. Why? So they can have a chance of becoming a US citizen and having a better life. It's really sad that something like that exists and is still being practiced today. Imagine waking up and hoping that you get pregnant with a small chance that the foreigner will lay claim to you and your baby and you can become an American citizen. The sad part is that many of the women are often taken to a hotel and promptly discarded without a second thought. If anybody was to stop and look at their motive for flirting with them then they would see the sad situation that they were in. The sad part is that there is still a "market" for this because there are tons of "Juicys" everywhere. Both sides have sad parts to them because one side wants to live a better life while the other side is a potential lonely foreigner looking for companionship. Obviously one seems to weigh a little heavier over the other but what I'm trying to say is that neither side is particularly "evil". It's just a sad situation that exists and, unfortunately, has no ready remedy.

Let's hop off of the Serious Train and head back down to Happy Valley. So after we chatted with the store owner for some time we left and went into a t-shirt store because Audrey saw a shirt she liked. We went in and saw a plethora of t-shirts ranging from the silly (like Audrey's) to shirts with words and phrases that would make a sailor blush. It would be amazing if anybody wore those shirts but I wouldn't put it past anyone. I would love to tell exactly what they said but I don't feel the urge to repeat those words nor do I want to make my blog rated X. Anyway, Audrey bought a shirt that says, "You had me at An-young-ha-say-o" (An-young-ha-say-o basically means "Hello" in Korean) so she thought it was cute and we bought it.

After a little more looking around we decided to head back to Pyeongtaek. We were already getting tired (and it wasn't even dark yet) so we hopped on the next train and headed home. We decided to take a taxi home because we thought it would be faster. It turns out it really wasn't that much better because of the traffic. Our taxi driver seemed a little on edge so we just jumped in and didn't really say anything. As we were leaving AK Plaza these three guys (all dressed in white wife beaters and pants sagging) walked by. One pretended like he got hit by the taxi and the others laughed and then made small gestures for "ignore him" (not really "sorry"). The problem was that these people were clearly Americans and we could tell that the taxi driver didn't like us in the first place so now he was glaring at us because somehow we were associated with them now. To make matters worse they saw white people in the car and knocked on the window (we were stuck behind traffic) and said,

"Do you speak English?"
"Of course."
"Great. How do we get to the red light district?"
"Really? What would you want there?"
"Well, we just heard of it and we wanted to go."

After a few minutes of them continuously asking Audrey where the red light district was (I was in the back seat) and mentioning they just wanted a stripper, the traffic started to clear but before we pulled away they said, "You could strip for us if you want," at which point Audrey rolled up the window.

No wonder the taxi driver hates Americans. These guys pretended like he hit them and then asked where the prostitutes were. I felt embarrassed and angry that now we had to sit in a cab in total silence because the driver was not happy at all that these strangers messed with him for no reason. I'm not one of those people that likes to burden others with the responsibility of saying, "You represent America when you visit other countries," but frankly, you do. America already has a reputation with the rest of the world (as Audrey was so pleased to find out how much at GEPIK training) and it's fashionable to bash on America. Why would you perpetuate that stereotype? Why not show that you are an intelligent person who is worth listening to and worth caring about? I feel it's my responsibility to represent not only myself in a good light, but my country. I'm not a flag waving kind of guy but I am very proud (and lucky) to be born in America. As I said, it's fashionable to bash on America (even by Americans) yet they live in a place where they don't have to have to try to get pregnant by a random guy for citizenship or where people don't live 18 years of their life without seeing another race. Almost everything you do in another country counts, is important and can affect the lives of others. Soldiers are banned from a certain town in Korea because of what one sick guy did; even if the soldier is a gentleman (like a many of the military people I've actually met) he still isn't allowed in. It really annoying when I have to clean up the mess that another person made because they just didn't care for anyone other than themselves. And yes, nobody should judge someone based on a stereotype, but unfortunately, many ignorant people do. Saying you will follow a stereotype because people believe it makes you just as ignorant as those who believe them.

Of course, when this event happened I didn't think that much about it, nor did I go on such a rant about what I thought of representing yourself in another country. This stuff tends to come out when you write, I suppose. I realize this blog entry is too serious so even though it is long, I will not finish yet.

The next day we decided to check out the open market. Let me start off by saying how much I love the open market: I love the open market, a lot. It's filled with the craziest things you can imagine. Anything from entire pig heads to bookshelves to bathroom towels to cheap rip off shoes to bugs that you can eat to grocery stores. When I say it has everything, I mean it has everything. You will be assaulted with some of the worst smells you have ever smelled in your entire life and you will see guts and blood and hearts but it is amazing nevertheless. Audrey doesn't care for the market much, but every time I go I can't help but stare wide-eyed at all the wonders that I normally don't see in America (even if it is disgusting). I even saw what I'm pretty sure was half of a skinned dog (that was a little much for me but I figured it was worth mentioning). You will hear people shouting at you to try to buy their wares, you will see older ladies gently smiling at you as you walk by their vegetable stand, you will see people glare and yell at you if you show your camera and you will feel alive. How can you not be happy in a place like this?






















Those pig heads are a shout of to Liz, by the way. We took that picture specifically for you. Enjoy! For those who don't think pictures are good enough, how about a short video? You will notice that we hold the camera kind of odd because I wasn't sure if it was allowed inside or not so we were being cautious. Of course, the second someone sees us with it she starts to yell at us. It kind of made us nervous the first time but sometime soon I think I will go back and hold my tourist camera high and proud.



(Note: Click on it twice to open up the YouTube page so you can see the entire thing)

So after a little bit of wandering around we finally found a furniture store (our true goal that day). We talked a bit and finally decided on these colorful shelves that would allow us to put our clothes up in an easily accessible way. We talked to the owner (who was very nice) and started getting the shelves ready. While we were signing the receipt his daughters (couldn't be older than five) started cleaning the shelves for us because they were a little dusty. Audrey thought it was really cute and it was very nice of them. Then came the problem of how we were going to get them home. The original plan was for me to carry two of them (there was four) back to the house and then come back and get the rest. The owner, without us even asking, put the shelves in his truck and asked where our house was. He then told us to hop in, he closed up his shop, drove us home, helped carry the shelves into the house and then even took the cardboard off of the shelves and took it with him. We felt really bad that he did all that for us so we gave him some Snickers to give to his daughters. We thought he was so nice that we came back the next day and bought more shelves and he did the same thing yet again. Good customer service does lead to more business.

This will allow me to transition perfectly into something I've wanted to talk about for a while: the customer service here in Korea. It is ridiculous; it's to the point where I feel bad having all these things done for me. No where in America would that store owner close his shop down so he could give us a ride home. Every store in Korea is that concerned with customer service. When I was getting my cell phone the employees who weren't helping customers were making tea, offering seats and then giving us grape juice while we were waiting. They are so attentive that sometimes it can be annoying such as when you walk into a store and have a couple of workers ask, "Can I help you?" and then they follow you around just in case you do need help. Another case is when you go to the grocery store and you even look at the food they are selling, they immediately jump out from behind the counter and ask if you want something. This level of customer service is really amazing sometimes but also really bad other times when you feel pressured into buying something because the person has already shrink wrapped it, cut out the piece you were looking at and then carved your initials in it. I understand that it makes me a sucker for saying yes after they essentially shove something into my arms but I can't help it. I think it will be good for me to slowly learn to say "no" even after they go through all the work of preparing it. Overall though I enjoy the service here even if it is a little high pressure.

That's a little better. Now it is okay to finish up this entry.

Addictions, Apartments and A-drunk-old-man (one word)

Josh:

I would like to take a moment to comment on a recent addiction that Audrey now has. It started off innocently enough but now it has consumed her completely. Yes, I'm talking about Taiko Drum Master.











It's actually a really fun game. You play, well, Taiko drums. It has great songs such as Mario Brothers, JPop and anime TV show themes. I mention it because we always play it whenever we are in an arcade. Waiting for a movie to start? Taiko Drum Master. I wanted to do another example but really that's all I have (for now). I think we need to get an arcade machine in our house because it is so awesome. Eventually it gets really hot and we have to leave but if we had it in an air conditioned home, the fun would never end.

Another really weird game in Korea is this rhythm game where you tap the screen to the beat while the screen flashes weird anime scenes. It seems really weird to explain but that is the entire game.











Some of these kids are so into it that I have seen a guy standing behind another person watching him play and tapping an invisible keyboard in front of him in an attempt to follow the screen. I wish I had taken a picture because it was fantastic.

Why do I mention these games? I really have no idea other than the fact that there are interesting rhythm games in Korea. And it also leads me perfectly into one more side note about arcades:

When you play an arcade game in Korea (especially if you are a foreigner) people gather behind you and watch you play. I experienced this for the first time when Mike and I decided to try House of the Dead 4. We decided that we wanted to beat it and kept pumping 500 won pieces into it whenever we would die. Eventually people started standing behind us and were watching. I wasn't quite sure if they wanted to play so when I died I made a gesture towards them to ask if they wanted to play. They shook their heads "no". At this point I was really confused because I had no idea what they were doing. I would lean over to Mike and ask, "Are they watching us or is this some sort of huge line? I feel like we are hogging the machine because we keep putting money in when we die," to which he replied, "I have no idea." So we stood there with a crowd of maybe 5-10 people standing behind us watching us kill zombies to save the world. We got to the final boss and Mike and I ran out of coins. We shook our heads and let our characters die for a change and stepped away from the machine. I expected someone from the crowd to swoop in a pick up the gun immediately. To my utter amazement all of them dispersed and parted ways. I was really confused. So they weren't waiting for a chance to play but just wanted to watch us play House of the Dead? To me, that's really strange. When I'm in an arcade I always want to play games. I guess I'm just a control freak (oh play on words, you amuse me so). It doesn't really strike me as a "fun time" to watch other people get killed by zombies every other minute. I've also seen this phenomenon with people playing Tekken (of course). People gather around each side and are utterly absorbed by what each player is doing. I'm sure some go so far as to cheer and "awww" when someone loses but I haven't seen this yet. I asked Charles (a Korean friend of mine) what the deal was and he said, "Oh yes. They just want to watch. That's all." It still baffles me. This goes so far as to even have TV channels devoted to airing Starcraft matches (I kid you not). Imagine, "Hey, honey! The Starcraft match is on! Our team is playing again! Grab the popcorn and get over here!" to which she would reply, "Oh good! I hope our team wins this time. GO ON! PWN (sic) THEM!"
[My blog has officially lost credit as I have used the internet slang "pwn". Sigh. I get some credit back by using a literary term to show I did it on purpose. Right? Right?]

In all reality, it's good to encourage people watching other people play games. As I mentioned earlier, I am a control freak and it's sometimes boring for me to watch other people play video games. I was always designated as "the video game player" in my family so I never really had to watch other people play (i.e. "share"). I don't mean to make it sound like I never let other people play, because I do; as I mature (i.e. "level up my maturity" [yes, I know that was bad but I couldn't help it]) I find myself enjoying watching other people play. The problem is that I wasn't raised watching other people play as others have. I think the ability to watch other people play and still be entertained is a fantastic life skill because you will never always be in control and it is sometimes fun to watch others having fun (it sounds really weird when I type that out though. Watching others have fun is fun. Strange?). Maybe this is why I hate watching sports so much. Yeah, I like that excuse.

How can I possibly transition from addiction and games to another topic? Easy. I will talk about something I mentioned before. The crane games!











I haven't really talked about them much but I will once again. That awesome picture is me with my first two prizes: a radio and a lighter. Both are utterly useless to me but the fact that I won them makes them that much cooler. Since then I have sunk an obscene amount of money into these stupid things (as predicted). I have won other prizes such as stuffed bears and hedgehogs and even a lame necklace but nothing really amazing. A while ago I decided to cut myself off from crane machines completely unless something particularly awesome was a prize (such as many of the prizes I mentioned a long time ago in the blog). No more stuffed animals or lame radios for me. I just wanted everyone to know that I powered through my addiction and I no longer play the crane games (frequently that is).

Many of you might be wondering, "Where does Joshua work, what does it look like, where does he live, etc." Well ladies and gentlemen, you wish will finally be answered. After months of neglect and not posting what my houses or my offices look like I will finally post everything.

Let me start off with our initial house in Dogok. You might have to scroll way back for the description (or you can just watch the video and see it yourself, if you want):

Note: Before I post anything, please know that I am a terrible cameraman. One might even call me atrocious. I tend to point the camera at the ground half of the time, I move the camera too fast, the camera is frequently jostled and sometimes I don't speak loudly enough or I speak too loudly. Don't mind that. Pretend that it doesn't exist and everything will be great.

Without further ado, here is our Dogok apartment:




Wow, a long time later one finally managed to upload. This is why I never uploaded videos before. Well, maybe I'll upload videos from the house and hopefully it'll be faster. Maybe. Unfortunately, I have to cut the video uploads off here. Sorry. I tried doing two but the second one literally took over two hours and didn't even upload so I canceled it. Maybe someday everyone can experience videos. Someday.

I'll end this post with another story.

A month or so ago our group was riding on a train over to Seoul (once again, I don't remember what is was for exactly). The train was sold out because it was the weekend so we had to wait in the dining car. I don't think I've said how awesome the dining cars in Korea are (if I have, then here's a reminder). They all have mini-Norebangs (karaoke rooms that people use often even on a train), computers with pay by the hour internet, arcade machines (usually with Tekken) and a counter where they sell food and drinks. This is somewhat important to know because they sell alcohol on the train (same as most places in Korea). We saw a strange looking man (looked a little like a derelict) come in and buy a tall boy of Cass (a Korean beer) and a box of crackers. There were also two young girls standing against the wall across from the food counter. They were obviously "rebels" because they were showing a little bit of cleavage (scandalous - note that in Korea it is perfectly acceptable to wear skirts that barely cover your butt but if you show your neckline or a tiny bit of breast you are "slutty". I happen to disagree and think that showing off your underwear, or lack thereof, is a lot worse than a collarbone here and there but what do I know?). The man looks over at them, heads over and starts talking to them. They obviously are not interested in talking to him because they give him a disgusted look. This older man doesn't quite take the hint and continues to talk to them while inching closer and closer to them (personal space is another rant but I've digressed too much as it is). They seem to answer his questions with as little words as possible and frequently exchange looks of loathing to each other. They sit down in an attempt to make him go away but the man doesn't miss a beat and sits down right next to them. He opens up his box of crackers and gives them one of the packets. You see, gentlemen, nothing says debonair charm, class and outright sexiness like a packet of crackers. The girls try to say "no" but he insists and shoves the "gift" into their hands. They eventually give up fighting and set it down next to them. I wonder if he had a conversation with his friend later saying,

"You know what gets the ladies?"
"No, man. What?"
"Freaking crackers."
"Nice! Pound it!"

I don't know why the old man talks like a teenager from California but that's how the scenario ran through my head. Anyway, after ten minutes of awkward conversation (and us pointing at them to our friends and snickering) one of the friends pulls out her phone and makes a phone call. She then gets up and moves away from her friend, leaving her by herself to fend off the advances of a drunk old man (who is frequently sipping his tall boy of beer). The friend who was abandoned had a look of sheer terror on her face as she saw her friend get up and leave her to the wolves. I thought, "Well she'll probably call her friend's cell or make up some excuse to get her our of there." Twenty minutes later, the friend is still on the phone and has moved far away from her friend and the drunk old man. The guy is still hitting on the poor girl stuck there. She then just lays her head against the wall and stares off into nothing, apparently giving up on life and only answering in monosyllabic words (as much as she can). I then turn to her friend on the phone and she looks over at her abandoned friend, laughs and says on the phone (as far as I can tell):

"I just left Suzy all alone with this drunk guy and now she is stuck talking to him. Awesome, right? I'm such a good person." - To be said as she pops her gum and twirls her hair on her finger

This continued for the rest of the train ride which, by the way, is over an hour. Finally, we pull into Seoul and we head out and I see the two girls start to get ready to get off. I don't know how the conversation with the old man ended but I can imagine it to be something like this:

"Hey, this is my stop. I have to go. Nice talking to you."
"Oh, okay. Well can I get your number and maybe I'll call you sometime, chica?"
"Oh, I don't know. I normally don't give my number out."
"Come on, baby. It'll be great."

At that point she probably would have jumped out the window to get off the train (I would have) so I'm sure she said "no" politely and ran off. The last I saw of these two girls was on the escalator going up into Seoul station with the girl on the phone laughing at the other girl and the other girl pretending to laugh along with her (or so it seems). I'm sure their friendship will be one that lasts forever.

Buh na nee nee nee nee nee nee nee (to be sung like a banjo)

Josh:

For those of you who need clarification of the title, play this song and you will get how it is supposed to sound (you only need less than the first minute or so to get the idea):


Don't worry. It'll make sense in a second. By the way, prepare for a long post.

We live in the classiest neighborhood. I am reminded to write about this because we were lucky enough last night to hear yet another show given to us so generously by our neighbors. We didn't even ask and yet we received. How kind and giving they are.

(Very off topic side note: When I reread the word "yet" I thought, "That word is really really strange." It was so strange that I had to look it up to make sure I was using it correctly because all knowledge of this bizarre combination of letters seemed to escape my head. Yes, I used it correctly: definition #6: nevertheless. I hope everyone who reads this will now look at the word "yet" and have the same thing happen to them. There also is the distinct possibility that maybe I'm just crazy. Who knows?)

Back to the story at hand. If you recall correctly before my little side note turned into a rant, I was building something up so that you would want to read ahead to figure out what it was that the neighbors keep giving us. What was it exactly? It was just the classy neighbors shouting at the top of their lungs at each other. What? All that build up for people yelling at each other? Well ladies and gentlemen, it is much more epic than that explanation seems to show. We have experienced two epic showdowns by our neighbors and one last night that was just shouting (we were tired and didn't care enough to investigate). Without further ado, I give you the story of "Our Landlady's Granddaughters' Fist Fight":

It started like any other weekend. We were getting ready to go out (I don't remember for what but it's not important) when Audrey mentioned that she heard something. We both stopped what we were doing and listened carefully. It sounded like girls speaking loudly. Then it turned into girls shouting. Then it turned into girls shouting with things making crashing noises. We stopped and thought, "What should we do? It sounds really close." We decided to finish getting ready and start heading out ASAP so we didn't have to hear all the ruckus. It took us about five to ten minutes to finish getting ready and the entire time we heard shouting. It wasn't just normal shouting. It was "I'm shouting at the top of my lungs and I'm going to kill you" shouting. Obviously this concerned us so we headed outside. As we open the door the shouting continues and we hear sounds that sound similar to hitting and Audrey heads to the stairs while I lock the door. I start to hear crying and I head downstairs to see one girl curled up in a fetal position under our stairs crying as hard as she can with another girl squatting in front of our landlady's door. I recognize these girls as the two girls that I ran into on my way home from school. They were young teenagers that said, "Hello!" happily as I opened the gate for them and they went into their grandma's house (our landlady) and now I see them both crying hard. Needless to say we both felt extremely awkward. What could we do with a language barrier and the fact that it really isn't our business? I wasn't sure how hurt that girl was or if she even was hurt but it certainly seemed like it. We stepped outside the gate and started talking. We debated for about five minutes in front of the gate what we should while keeping an open ear just in case anything got worse. The shouting commenced once more and we were really worried. Eventually, while we were talking about what to do, we saw a face look at us from in between the crack of the wall and the gate. We both saw this and we then decided to finish it so I stayed outside (who wants a really tall and scary foreigner trying to calm down a teenage cat fight) while Audrey went it. I, of course, listened for anything that could mean trouble and I waited. I heard Audrey start talking and then I saw all three of them go upstairs into our house. At this point I started getting a little worried because it would be hard for me to hear if anything went wrong. I waited a couple minutes and debated going up there but then I saw all three coming downstairs and the two girls went into the landlady's house and Audrey came out. Apparently she told them it was loud and scary and we didn't like that. She then gave them mini-Snickers and one of them apologized and that was that.

It was absolutely insane. Neither of us had ever seen or heard anything like that, especially that close to our house. They didn't even try to hide the fact that they were fighting. They were shouting at the top of their lungs and the entire neighborhood could hear them perfectly. Normally people care if other people are watching them have a fight but apparently that wasn't a factor for them. We thought, "How strange, maybe this is just a one time crazy thing happening." NOPE!

The story of "The Insane Neighbors and the Cops Who Don't Do Anything":
Once again, it was a fairly normal weekend. Audrey had gone out with some friends to go see Prince of Persia for the second time. I had managed to survive that movie once and I wasn't interested in trying a second time (I'll tell that story a little later). So I stayed home and Audrey went out. While I was hanging out, relaxing and doing the laundry a noise struck me as odd. It started off fairly quiet then I noticed it start to grow. It was slightly familiar. I opened the door to my terrace and immediately recognized it: it was the bloody murder scream we had heard not too long ago. It was, once again, a female shouting at the top of her lungs, "Oppa! Oppa!" (which either means older brother or father depending on the pronunciation but I don't remember how it sounded exactly). I looked around to try to find it but I couldn't pinpoint where it was. I started to get a little angry and worried that something bad was happening. I threw on my shoes, grabbed my keys (after minutes of searching all the while this screaming continued) and stepped outside and looked around. I saw a few other neighbors down the street looking in the direction of my house. I looked up and it was my neighbors who are directly across from my house (so they are on the second floor). I looked around and decided I couldn't do anything so I went back inside. I tried to keep a close eye on what was going on when I got a phone call from Audrey saying they were coming home. I warned them about the show and they hurried home. While I was waiting I saw a 20-something year old girl step outside crying and shouting. I also saw an older and heavier lady step outside and keep shouting also. When Audrey and company finally got back the screaming multiplied. It got even louder so we all decided to watch out of our bedroom window. As we were talking about it between ourselves we saw a small glimmer of hope. It was a light from a police car! Finally, someone called the cops. It wasn't like I could call them considering I don't speak Korean. We all crowded by the window to see what would happen. The police rang the doorbell a couple of times and a fairly old man came out and started talking. Then the heavier older lady came out, started shouting at the police, put the man in a headlock (not kidding), shoved him back inside the house and then went back to continue yelling at the police. After about a minute of this the police shrugged their shoulders and LEFT! I can only imagine, "Oh well, Bob. It seems to be a fairly violent situation but it's upstairs and I really don't want to climb."
"I feel that, Jim. Let's roll."
And then they leave. Immediately after they start to leave the heavy lady (by the way she was younger than the old man) slaps the old man across the face and shoves him in. At this point this is getting too farcical for me and I grab my camera and here is what I get at first:



This isn't much obviously. The lady in the video is the crazy one that put the old man in the headlock and slapped him into the house. The people you hear are a gentleman named Nolan (awesome guy), Meg (mentioned earlier in the blog) and me. I only managed to get a little bit and, of course, I had missed the police. We then decide to do the responsible thing and not even bother trying to hide the fact that we are watching and step outside onto the terrace and "do laundry". Basically we all gathered onto the terrace and blatantly stared at their house. We also decided we needed a recording of the noises that they were making because they were something of legend. So we hit the record button and set it down on top of our laundry rack. Enjoy!



Have you ever heard a human being make those noises? I certainly haven't until that point. It reminds me of some sort of harpy screech. You can hear Nolan, Audrey, Meg and I commenting such as, "Oh I'll give you something to cry about!" or the imagined translation of what the lady yelled to the police, "YEAH! WE GOT THIS!" You will also notice shuffling and then a blue thing fly past the camera. In an attempt to look like we were doing work we started taking down the anti-wind screen on our window and somehow they broke a piece of plastic off of it and it shot into another neighbors yard and we giggled about it. Back to the story.

So after a long time of these terrible noises, things eventually calmed down and then stopped. I even saw that younger girl step out and do laundry like nothing ever happened. What kind of neighborhood do we live in? I feel that I need to bring a banjo along with me every time I leave just in case I need to duel someone. It's utterly ridiculous. After seeing the shouting match happen for a second time we knew that it wasn't just a fluke the first time. This was a common thing here. Apparently it's fairly common to have strangers shout at you and even have older people hit you! Where I'm from, if someone hits you, they are fair game for a "beat down" (as the young kids call it), old or not. This idea that it's acceptable to broadcast your drama across the town isn't okay with me at all. Apparently they were saying some nuggets too because when Audrey and company were on their way back they would see the other neighbors who were watching flinch or make a face. To completely nerd out, one quote is sticking my head for some reason:
"When did...the wise abandon reason for madness?" - Gandalf

I'll end this entry with that thought, even though I could rant for pages talking about what kind of life it would be to live where that was a regular occurrence and that some kind of abuse was passed over by the police. I will stop at where I am before I get too riled up and I talk about something I honestly don't know much about.

"Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

Side note: You know how I said my neighborhood is classy? It goes beyond just the shouting. I forgot to mention when we first came up to this house (and up to this day) the streets were littered with garbage. There literally is a cardboard pile with other garbage all around it, it smells like cat feces and there are swastikas all over (yes, I know that this is a Buddhist symbol but imagine when you first walk into a neighborhood and you see them everywhere, you can't help but think, "I'm going to die here, aren't I?") It was a bit much to take in at once when I first moved to Korea. Despite all my complaining, would I move? Probably not. The descriptions make it seem like some hellhole but it really isn't that bad. Let's use a euphemism and say that my neighborhood has "character", shall we?

Only two? Nay!

Josh:

I noticed that I only did two updates this month and I thought that seemed a little sad so I said, "I will make it three on the last day!" Basically I'm cheating so it looks like I write more than I actually do. You sly devil, you.

Let's keep trying to catch up. It seems I have fallen behind by almost exactly two months. Not much happened after the lovely picnic with Mr. Chu until Wednesday (4/28/10). My school had no teaching that day for some reason (I don't remember, Mid terms maybe?) so the English teachers decided it would be good to go out together. I thought this was a great idea and they even invited Audrey along. They also extended the invitation to Mr. Chu. It was going to be really fun and we were looking forward to hanging out. The day before (or the day of) we learned that Mr. Chu would be unable to go and then I learned that Audrey wouldn't be able to go because of that. Why? Because we had five people already and that filled up one car. Needless to say that caused a little bit of a stir. They asked, "Is that okay?" I had to beat around the bush and say that it happens but it would have been nice to get a warning or, even better, not invite Audrey and get our hopes up unless you know there is room. Another unfortunate event happened when Mr. Chu heard that Audrey couldn't go and then said something like, "So they only invited me to give a ride?" Audrey didn't know what to say and I, of course, didn't know what to say when I heard that because it made me feel really bad. I believe that my co-teachers didn't mean for that to happen or for it to seem that way but that's how it came off. The bright side was that Audrey's school was going out for dinner also so she went out with her teachers and I went out with mine. In the end it worked out but I really wish that we didn't have to go through the discomfort of worrying about who got invited and why.

After the dust settled and Wednesday came, we loaded up into Mr. Hong's car and headed out on that lovely rainy day. On the way over we talked about various things but the thing that sticks out in my head most is when Mr. Hong asked everyone what the top ten exports of California were. Apparently he had looked up the list and was trying to get everyone to guess. I had a slight edge so when the ladies were completely stumped I took a guess and usually within three or four tries I got it. It was very strange, but fun. This conversation conveniently leads into where we were going: an agriculture place. I don't remember what it was called (I have the brochure so I'll have to dig it out sometime) but it basically was a couple of buildings as museums and fields of flowers. We stepped inside the first building and it was a greenhouse filled with a multitude of flowers, trees and sculptures. (Remember you can click on an image to enlarge it)








































































The last two are pictures of me and the other English teachers. The picture on the left has (from left to right) Ms. Kim, Ms. Kim, Me and Mr. Hong. The right picture has Ms. Han, Ms. Kim, Me and Ms. Kim. The two teachers that I co-teach with are Ms. Han and the Ms. Kim on the far right in the right picture. I'm very lucky (as I said before) because all of them are really nice.


THE TURTLE IS DISPLEASED WITH YOU!















And, of course, all great agriculture museums have giant giraffes made out of grass in the parking lot.












For those of you who don't like pictures, here is a short video:



So after we explored the greenhouse we continued to a small hut that was full of metal sculptures. They took old garbage and made it into all sorts of random objects. It was really impressive. I don't have good pictures so here is another short video. My two favorites are the mini-helicopter made out of a rice cooker and the giant helicopter.



Anyone notice how odd the word "sculptor" is? I've never even thought about it before.

After that we moved onto a museum with old farming tools, pictures, paintings, etc. I didn't really take any pictures but I did take a few videos. I'll have to post those later or on another web site because they are much bigger. One is eight minutes. I figured everyone back home wanted to experience a Korean museum so I took some videos. I actually don't know if it was okay for me to record it but no one was around so I did. I'm such a rebel. And I have no cause, ladies.

After a bit of time in the museum we moved onto another building that seemed to be preparing for some sort of festival or show. We didn't really stay too long because we pretty much had seen everything in a few minutes.

After that we decided to head out and I took a few more pictures of the flower fields as we departed.

We all started to get pretty hungry so we headed over to AK Plaza (the train station/mall) and we went to a Chinese restaurant. They ordered some sort of "meal set" and they brought out giant plates that everyone was supposed to take a piece of and eat. Some of it I liked, some of it I wasn't a fan of, but overall it was filling. They kept bringing more and more food and I asked, "Is this the last dish yet?" Of course the reply I received was, "Nope. Two more." Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and Mr. Hong brought up the idea of seeing a movie so we headed upstairs to see what was playing. The only English movies were rated R and I thought it might be a little awkward to watch Kick-Ass with my co-teachers but (luckily) they decided on Hurt Locker. I enjoyed it enough, but because it was based off of American soldiers and it was a dialogue heavy movie, I don't think any of them really enjoyed it that much. There was a lot of swearing unfortunately and I felt a little awkward sitting next to my co-workers. When we got out I asked if anyone liked it and I got the same response from everyone, "Uh, it was long." We decided to part ways after. Everyone had a good time (I think) and they seemed to want to have another "English Teacher's Day".

After I got home, I called Audrey and she was still busy playing pool with her co-teachers so I decided to explore Pyeongtaek a little more. I ended up walking to Lotte Mart (the store with the hedgehogs) so I picked up some groceries and headed home. I mention Lotte Mart because it took me half an hour to walk to and we had never been there except by jumping on a bus and taking a taxi home. It was good to start a mental map of the town just in case we need to get anywhere. I know a lot more of the layout now but back then I was excited that I was starting to learn some landmarks and what stores are in what direction (for those of you who know me, I'm not the strongest at memorizing directions so this is an accomplishment).

And with that, I give you three entries for June!

What ryhmes with Schmore Mupdates?

Josh:

More updates!

Remember how I talked about Korea's election? I forgot to mention how different the campaigning is over here. In America we have commercials, debates, pamphlets, etc. The only advertising I got to experience here (partially due to my lack of Korean skills) were giant posters plastered on the side of buildings and little buses/cars. Why is that worth mentioning? Good question. The little bus things all had speakers attached to the top and the sides (many also came with giant monitors on the inside [it opened on the side similar to a truck that holds cargo]). Throughout the entire day they would park at one spot and blast K-Pop with terrible voice-over/singing advertising the candidate. This by itself would be annoying enough (considering they start bright and early in the morning and drive through our neighborhood) but someone decided that wasn't enough. Most of these buses also came with a dancing troupe. There would be about 5-7 ladies (I don't think I saw any men) wearing a neon-green and bright orange shirt with a white hat and white gloves. While the bus would blast really annoying (AKA ridiculously catchy) K-Pop they would have a small dance that was usually about one minute long. Now if you can imagine being stuck on a corner (for whatever reason - red light, waiting for someone, etc.) and on the other corner is a bus with crazy looking people dancing to some kind of weird techno, you will get a small idea of what the weeks before election time were like. I can't even imagine being one of those poor ladies who were stuck dancing on the corner to the same song for hours on end in the ever growing heat. I wonder if they were paid or if they were volunteers because no matter how much I would want a candidate to win, I would never volunteer for that kind of punishment. I would also see a man in a suit with a banner around his shoulder with a number on it (read further below) waving to people as his slaves danced behind him. Can you imagine if an American tried to campaign with a Pop song with a terrible voice over saying the person's name at random parts? Whose idea was it to campaign like that, who thought it was good enough and how did it become popular enough to become a regular thing?
Because I am really lame and I kept forgetting to take the camera with me wherever I went for almost a month straight, I have no videos or pictures of these wonders. Hopefully next time there is an election (who knows when) I will be able to capture the glory.
One more rant about the election. The candidates are numbered. As far as I could tell there were about eight or nine. This seems like a really bad idea. Who do you think usually wins? That would be number one or two (according to my source). I wonder if they draw for the numbers at the beginning of the election. The guy who pulls number eight would say, "Well I lost. That sucks."
Enough of elections!

A brief refresher: It's now Sunday.
Phew. Now that that's over with, let's continue. We had agreed earlier in the week to go on a trip with Mr. Chu (Audrey's co-teacher). He was nice enough to offer us a ride and take us out on a little adventure (just a little walking because Audrey's knee was still hurt). He took us to Admiral Yi Sun Sin's memorial. It was basically a big park with various little buildings around such as small museums and his house. The park was beautiful and I really enjoyed going out and seeing some of the sites Korea has to offer. I'm a tourist at heart, unfortunately. I love going to places with museums or some sort of historical significance that everyone goes to when they vacation in the country. I'm a big ol' nerd that way. Someday you will see me with a big blue Hawaiian shirt wearing a sun hat, sun glasses and a camera strapped around my neck. I'm all about it.
We walked around for quite some time, took lots of pictures and even got a few videos. We also got to explore the museum with all the artifacts from Admiral Yi's time. There was a miniature of his famous "Turtle boat", various tools they used (of course) and some really neat paintings depicting his life. Of course, we weren't allowed to photograph anything in the museum so you will have to just use your imagination (we later received a pamphlet that has pictures of all the things we saw so I don't really understand the point of the no picture thing). We also explored his house a little. It turns out that I would not really function too well back in the day because I would be too busy hitting my head on all the doorways. Oh well.
After walking around, we decided to head back to the car and start our little picnic. As we headed to the parking lot I noticed tons of little stalls for souvenirs. The tourist in me jumped out and I said, "I want a little statue!" so Audrey and I headed over in search of cool things to buy. I ended up finding a little statue (awesome) and Audrey ended up finding a hat. Of course, because we are five, we had to grab some Slurpee type drinks with our hat and statue.
Audrey really liked her hat.

So we sat down and had a fantastic picnic. We ate PB&J sandwiches, kimbap, a peach and various drinks. It was very relaxing and we got to talk to Mr. Chu for some time. Audrey was wearing her hat the whole time and a bee decided that it wanted to set up camp on it. For the last part of the lunch there was a bee just sitting on Audrey's hat. Eventually he left, but it took a little coaxing. Overall, it was a fantastic day. I love being able to get out and see what beauty this country has to offer. We also took a detour through an older village on the way back home. I don't know if I've mentioned this before but every time we go somewhere (driving, by train, anything) my face is constantly glued to the window. I love looking at the trees, rice fields and scenery. There will be little shouts of, "Oh! Look!" every now and then as we are waiting to get to our destination. I mention this because on the way back, it was absolutely beautiful. After being stuck in a city like San Francisco for so long (and still living in a gray city), one begins to yearn for the smaller city with trees all around. I am really looking forward to when I don't have to get small glimpses of trees every now and then. I want them all the time.

The bee on Audrey's hat reminds me of something I've been meaning to rant about. The bugs here are huge. The wasps (and some bees) are gigantic here. It seems like they could impale you on their stingers (maybe some exaggeration, but close enough). During one of my classes I had my students jump up and say, "Teacher! *Korean*" I walked over and there was the biggest spider I had ever seen in my entire life. Instead of screaming like a little girl (proud of myself) I managed to crush it and impress my students (score). I had one of my students sweep it up and we put it outside for the birds. I wish I had taken a picture of it because it seems like something like that would be a trophy kill. I'm not going to lie, as I'm typing this out I'm checking my desk for spiders. I guess the overall point I'm trying to make here is that the bugs here are scary giants. No bueno.

Well I think a small post will be good for today. Pictures and other happiness will come later.
-Josh

The thing that every blog user says

Josh:
Despite saying there would be more updates now that I have the internet at home, I have neglected my poor blog and readers. Hopefully I can fix that. I realize the internet is full of broken promises and dreams when it comes to blogs, but not mine! I will rise above the stereotype of writing ten entries and then leaving the blog behind! Maybe.

As I reread that paragraph I realize that it sounds like a speech one would make for a campaign which transitions perfectly into my next topic: elections.

Korea just had a big "election" (that was actually going to be the title of this post but I changed it). I put "election" in quotes not because I am trying to demean the election in any way (it was actually a very big and important election) but because the child in me can't help but giggle about the way it was said. Just in case you didn't know, one of the letters that Koreans have trouble with is "L". Instead of making an "L" sound, they tend to make an "R" sound. So if you can imagine an older gentleman saying that Korea is going to have a big "election" (but change the letter), I think all of us would have a little trouble trying to hold in our "tee-hee"s. I was having trouble not laughing to myself with that thought in mind as I typed out "it was actually a very big and important election". Korea had a huge election. Sorry. I'm done. Forgive my immature humor but I can have a few moments, can't I? Also, everyone else we have told this to started laughing too so I take a little comfort in that. Welcome back to our blog!
It really was a mind blowing and gargantuan election.
...
I'm done! I'm done! (tee hee)

When you last joined us, we had just left off at the fantastic weekend that was the flower festival. It was obviously very late by the time we got to bed. At 9AM I wake up to Audrey poking me saying, "I think someone's shouting our names outside." I am still half asleep but I listen and I can hear a voice that is shouting something that sounds like our names. I drag myself out of bed and open the window to find that indeed someone was outside shouting our names. It turns out it was one of my co-teachers with another man and a van waiting. "We've come to take you to my church!" Needless to say, I was rather surprised. I threw on pants and shoes and ran downstairs looking fresh as a rose (my hair tends to look like an anime character's when I first get up) and met them outside:

"So...uh...[as I groggily try to create sentences]...what's up? [one eye still closed]"
"Oh you aren't ready."
"What? You didn't tell me."
"We have come to take you to our church. This is my pastor."
"Oh! Uh..hi! Nice to meet you. Look, uh, I don't think we can make it today."
"Did we surprise you?"
"Yeah, just a little."
"Okay, we'll maybe next time."
"Yeah, sorry. It was nice to meet you. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay, bye!"

I appreciate them coming to my house and offering a ride. It was actually a very nice gesture but I was not functioning at that (excuse the ironic statement) ungodly hour. Also keep in mind that I had no warning that this was going to happen. I didn't even get a heads up as to when church started. As I said, I truly appreciate his efforts to include me in Korea but I found this to be a little more than amusing. I went inside, explained to Audrey and we tried to go back to sleep but, alas, after such excitement, we were unable to fall back asleep. We pulled ourselves out of bed and got ready for the day (even if it was unwilling).
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. We decided to go out with the group again and we watched Clash of the Titans in the theater near our house. The movie wasn't that good but we learned that in Korea you get to pick out your seat when you buy the ticket. I think that's kind of neat because then you don't have to show up one hour early just to not get stuck craning your neck at an awkward angle. We have never really used them though because the theater is always empty enough for us to not even bother looking for our seats, but the thought is there. The tickets are also only 8,000 won which is significantly cheaper than any movie theater tickets in the America. Because of that, we have already seen a fair amount of American movies that are released in our theater. It's nice to be able to go to the movies without paying out the nose.

On a quick side note, I have been very happy with my students. I can honestly say I haven't had any trouble with any of them (knock wood, of course). The only "problem" was a very shy girl that wouldn't speak. That only lasted a few weeks and now she will speak without any prodding. My students are supposed to be the "rebels" (those who didn't study as hard, a terrible sin indeed) but all of them are fantastic kids. Yes, many do start to nod off during my lessons, but I don't blame them at all. If you had to get up at 5:20AM every morning (including Saturday) and go to school from 6AM until 9PM (with about two to three hours break in between for meals) you would fall asleep also. Honestly, I fell asleep in a few of my classes in high school and I only went to school from 8AM-2:40PM. To fault them for being human would be hypocritical of me. What about talking during class? For the most part, they don't do it. If they do, it's minimal and I can be louder than them any day. I had a moment of true appreciation for them when I became really sick (this was very recent) and I was having trouble talking. I could barely speak at all, much less speak at a loud enough volume to fill a room. At the beginning of class I said, "Hey guys, I'm obviously sick so I can't really speak loudly today, so if you guys can just keep it down a little today that would be awesome." After a little translating by my co-teachers, anytime after that if there was anyone talking while I was speaking I would have half of the class turn around and yell at them, "Quiet!" or "Shut up!" I couldn't help but smile to myself. Many of them also have such large personalities. When I have practical speaking lessons many of them will try to make a funny skit out of the dialogue given to them (which is pretty hard considering it's ordering food, airports, etc). Their humor is fairly good and I really enjoy listening to them each time we practice. I'll end my fawning over my students with one last story. During Sports Day (more on that later) one of my students ended up tripping and losing the game for the rest of his class. When they came back and sat next to me I could tell he felt bad. The other students started teasing him for it (as far as I could tell) and it looked like he was about to cry. I felt so bad and as I was about to say something, one student put his hand on his back and patted it and said something (most likely comforting) and then all the other students joined in and clapped for him. His face changed completely around and he was okay again. You'll have to excuse the "heartwarming tale" but it really made me happy to see kids realize when too far was too far and even fixing it after. I really am proud of all of them.

That tangent about my students was actually suppose to go somewhere else, so you'll have to forgive another paragraph about my students. Originally it was intended for me to share how crazy they are when it comes to games but instead it turned into a hug fest. Who wants that right? We signed up for comedy, baby! And comedy you shall have. I spent one week (before midterms) playing English games with my students because I didn't want them to be too stressed out about their tests and have to worry about learning extra English lessons. I played a game where they create sentences with words and, if correct, they get points or the opportunity to take away all of the other team's points. Let me tell you, they love screwing over the other teams. Whenever that chance would come up, the entire team would jump up to their feet and yell victoriously. The other teams would then start negotiating with them in an attempt to have them not take away all their points. I literally had kids doing formal bows to the other teams (where they get on their knees from a standing position and bow with their heads to the floor) in an attempt to appease them to not take away their points. By the way, there was no prize. The prize was just saying you won and yet they were threatening each other with death if they took away their points. I heard curse words, threats, supplications, bargains and alliances all thrown across the room. At the end of the game the students who won would jump up in the air (because nobody was sitting by the end of the game of course) and cheer loudly. Two seconds later I would hear, "Teacher! Again! One more!" This would never, ever, ever happen in America. I had every single student (in most classes) absolutely enthralled by the game. It was almost as if their life depended on winning. I have seen this behavior in everything involving competition. They absolutely love it and get really into it. It's really funny to see. I did manage to get a video of an entire class when I played the game (so it's 50 minutes long so prepare for a marathon). I'll post it sometime in the near future, but let me say that the class I recorded was unquestionably the calmest class I had. They might have been scared by the camera (who knows?) but imagine that class multiplied by five and you will get a sampling of the other classes.

After that small(ish) side note, I move back to the time line I first started. That week was fairly uneventfully until Wednesday when I was told I get to record my voice with another native teacher. I was told a couple days before so I said "Yes" and (of course) I forgot about it. I had my co-teachers reminding me and I rushed over to the recording studio (in my school, which is awesome) and met the other teacher. She had been here for several years and was very nice. She explained that we were recording dialogue for the audio test that is played over the loud speakers on certain days. Oddly enough, my school just had one of these tests and I was laughing to myself how bad the dialogue was and how unnatural it sounded. It was payback time for those that I laughed at, I suppose. I was told that we had to say everything very slow and over articulate every word in an attempt to make it easier for the kids to understand (which explained a lot of things). We ran over a few of the dialogues, they pointed out where I needed to slow down and we were ready to begin recording. They also gave me one more detail which spiced up the recording session even more: we had to record everything in one shot. That meant that we had to read (slowly, mind you) a ten page paper for the first time and not mess up otherwise we would have to start all over. So we recorded up to about page three and the guy at the mixer board stopped us and we stepped outside to (painfully) listen to ourselves speak. It turns out that the Korean teacher who was reading the questions wasn't articulating enough (ironic right?) so we had to start all over. At this point we both said, "Can't you just pause and record where we left off?" The lady who was reading the Korean spoke to the mixer board operator and said, "No, sorry." At that point both of us looked at each other with looks that said, "How does that make any sense?" It doesn't! It makes zero sense! So we sat back down and messed up one more time until we finally got through the entire thing (not too bad considering I had never read any of it before). Near the end I was starting to repeat, "Don't mess up, don't mess up," to myself because I didn't want to be the guy that made us start all over when we got to page nine out of ten. The other native English speaker had an even worse time because she had a cold and was trying not to cough and still have a clear throat the entire time. It was pointlessly difficult but we still survived. We listened to a sampling of it and I thought, "Great. My robotic voice is going to played over the loudspeakers at some middle school (maybe even my wife's) and the native teacher will laugh at me just as I did." Well, I hope the native teacher then has to record his or her voice and realize that it's not that easy. We all must be humbled in some way, I suppose. I'm waiting for the day when I meet a teacher that says, "Your voice sounds awfully familiar..."

The rest of the week passed by fairly uneventful. On Saturday we went to an all you can eat and met some other foreigners (more people to add to our ever growing group). You pick your meat from a salad bar line up and then you grill it yourself (strange right?). I happened to pick up the last two hamburger patties and greedily ate those while everyone else had tons of beef that wasn't ground up (who wants that, right?). Overall, a fairly fun night.

The next day will require a bit more space so I will start a new entry for that. For now I will leave you with some pictures that I found to be quite amusing. (Note: You can click on any of the pictures to open them in a new window [making them bigger] if you want to experience the full detail and beauty of these shots.)
This was a shirt one of the students at my school was wearing. I honestly had no idea what it was talking about so I took a picture. He seemed to be proud of it.
Yes, they just created their own verb. You'll also notice all the people are white and the girl looks like she had her face pasted on. Hmmm...
The other is a picture from a card advertising a bidet. Yup. They had a line of bidets and due to Mike's love of them, we decided to take a picture of one and ended up finding the enema bidet (AKA the Holy Grail of bidets). "Why would they have a picture of it?" you might say and I say, "Don't ask questions."
I think my favorite part is the line that tells me to be white. Oh boy...

Did you think I was done being immature? Well you were wrong!

Tee-hee.

-Josh

The Weekend: Part 2

Josh:

Just so everyone knows: I finally got a phone! Not only that, but on Thursday we will have the internet at the house. I'm finally growing up! (Note: Audrey will get her phone on Friday when she gets her ARC [Alien Registration Card - which, by the way, literally is green]. It seems if you are a foreigner you can't get family plans. That's alright though considering my phone is free and it only costs $15 a month [give or take a few bucks due to extra minutes]. I bet you want a phone in Korea now don't you?)

I forgot to mention on Friday after the wine bar we also went to a "serve yourself" beer place. They have a bunch of refrigerators with beer in it and prices in front of each drink. When you leave, one of the workers counts your bottles and you pay according to that. I thought it was pretty neat. I mention this bar because when we were talking we saw a guy hitting on a Korean girl really awkwardly. It becomes even funnier when you put in the comment Mike said: "Anyone here seen Tropic Thunder? ("Yes") Okay, doesn't he look like Simple Jack?" We all looked and had to hold in our fits of laughter and giggles because he looked exactly like Ben Stiller's character "Simple Jack" (For those of you who haven't seen the movie, Google the name and just see what we saw. In the movie Ben Stiller plays an actor whose most famous role was a mentally handicapped character name Simple Jack. Now you can see why this guy's appearance was so fantastic). Not only were we laughing at this guy hitting on this girl but he also had the most desirous look on his face. You can tell he didn't just want to be friends and probably could have burned a hole in her with his look. If you can imagine Simple Jack giving gaga eyes to some Korean girl at a bar coupled with the fact that you are surrounded by people who were semi-drunk and like to giggle, you can get an idea of the joy we experienced that night. This is also important for later when I post videos of the weekend because we saw a pigeon who was missing feathers and we reference him as the "Simple Jack" of pigeons. Needless to say, we have lots of fun when we go out together.

And now back to the weekend.

After our little journey of jumping between subway lines, we finally reached Yeouido. We stepped out into the light and were surrounded by giant buildings. Of course, we didn't really research where the festival was going on other than the general area so we really had no idea where to go. We bought some little street doughnuts (super good) and wandered around a little bit until we saw balloons in the distance. That direction then made the most sense so we headed towards the commotion and saw a fairly sizable crowd. Luckily, thanks to San Francisco (once again), I have become used to crowds bigger than what we saw so I didn't really have a problem. We crossed the street and walked onto a giant open blacktop (with people rollerblading, skate boarding, etc). We saw there was a park to our right so we headed in that direction hoping to see some more trees. Meg and Mike decided to get some "refreshments" at a store (Note: It is legal to drink on the streets in Korea so you can walk around drunk and holding a bottle of beer all you want) while Audrey and I rested (our feet were killing us). As we started to explore the park Mike saw something in the trash that caught his eye. He pulled it out (with us laughing at him) and it turned out to be a mat. He excitedly said he was going to keep it, threw it over his shoulder, nicknamed it "Matt" and we continued on with a new treasure.

After exploring the park a little we ran into a lake with some giant Koi and a beautiful duck (nicknamed "The Maserati of Ducks"). We stopped for a minute, took videos and pictures, moved onto a giant statue (don't know of who) and a nice little building which Audrey and Meg climbed into.

As we wound our way through the park we noticed several people having photo sessions (One had a newly wed couple while another had a guy dancing with a low cut shirt. You know, the normal stuff). I guess that's the time to take pictures in the park. After we got out of the park we noticed a street vendor selling something that I had heard about before I even got to Korea. I don't remember their name but I believe they are silkworm pupae. Despite several warnings from Meg and Audrey, I couldn't help myself and Mike was up to the challenge. We tried it (Mike wanted to up the stakes by trying two in one bite so we skewered two right off the bat). Yes, I ate bugs here in Korea. No, they aren't really that good. They don't taste terrible but they do sort of pop in your mouth when you bite them (a little strange). Enjoy!







Meg had already tried them apparently and she hated them. When you first eat them, it isn't too bad. It's a very mild taste but later on the bitter goo just stays there in your mouth. We decided to just keep it at two and bought more street doughnuts to get the taste out of our mouths.

So as we left the park there was a small grassy area where people were having picnics, flying kites and just relaxing. We liked the idea of finally sitting down so we found a spot and (thanks to the mat that Mike found) we took a seat. Mike and Meg ran into a store and got a bottle of Soju and a 1.5 liter of beer. We all just sat, talked and drank. I think we all had a blast just talking and hanging out with each other. Audrey and I seem to really connect with these people so I am very grateful we were able to meet them. After a few hours (maybe just an hour, I'm not sure) we decided to just find a Mexican restaurant in Seoul and head home. We never really officially saw the festival (luckily for us it turns out they canceled the main celebration due to the ship sinking [more on that later]) but we figured we had seen enough blossoms to satisfy us and we had walked far enough. So we got up (at this point Josh was riding the Soju train first class, baby), stumbled a little and headed back to the subway. When we got to the blacktop, a skateboard mutant (called an S-board) caught our eye and we decided to give it a shot. Mike rented from the lady and we gave it our best shot with no prior instruction nor any idea what to do. I had seen some friends of mine use it a long time ago so all I knew was that your needed to rotate your hips back and forth (aka thrust in my inebriated mind). We both kept flying off the board (I smacked my head on the ground [according to Audrey, I don't remember hitting my head but I remember falling flat on my back multiple times - I guess that's not a good sign?] while Mike only ate it once but he hit his head hard [we were all a little worried]). After about 10-20 minutes Mike was skating like a pro. He somehow managed to get the hang of it that quickly. All of us were blown away. I eventually got it after about 40 minutes but I never mastered it as well as Mike did. We met a few other people (we had one Korean guy try it out; he would help try to keep us balanced and would roller blade in circles around us) and a young kid who had his own S-Board and could ride it masterfully. He let us try his board out and gave us pointers. After we talked with him and rode a little longer we eventually decided to leave and continue on our hunt for Mexican food. Here is a video of us when we first got the board (As I mentioned before, I was riding the Soju train. I'm pretty proud of myself for eventually getting it when I was that gone):



So after many cuts and bruises we continued on. We headed back to the subway and tried to figure out where to go from there. Luckily Mike had been to the Mexican place before so we had general directions on where to go. After a quick subway ride and trying multiple exits we finally found the Holy Grail of food. We walked in and ordered (we were all starving by this time). There was another random foreigner there and we invited him to join our table. He turned out to be a really cool guy and we talked and learned about his traveling history. When the food finally arrived my mind was blown. I took the first bite and I felt like there was a party in my mouth and everyone was invited. I scarfed down the first burrito and immediately ordered a second one. After the first place being so disappointing, I was so ecstatic that I finally got to have good Mexican food. I really could go on and on about how tasty this place was. I'll finish by saying that if Zeus ever wanted a burrito, this is where he would go (Zeus happened to be the first guy that came into my head for some reason. Odd?). We stayed there for about an hour just talking (and laughing at the group of cackling middle aged white women that came in). We decided to hit one last bar and got to talk a little longer with our new friend. After another hour or so we finally decided it was about time to head home. We backtracked, got onto the subway and started the long journey home. After getting some advice about what route to take we parted ways with Mike (he was heading to a friend's house to watch a sports game). One stop later the train stopped moving and everyone got off. We were all really confused because we were still about seven stops away from home. We waited at the platform for a little bit until a worker signaled to us that there would be no more trains. We were stranded in a random city far away from our homes. Worried about what we would do, we headed inside the station and started talking about whether or not we should get a hotel room. Luckily a taxi driver came up to us and started speaking Korean and we heard the word, "Pyeongtaek". We said that was where we wanted to go and he took us to a young Korean girl and they started talking. Apparently she wanted to go to Pyeongtaek also so we were going to share a taxi to make the ride back cheaper. Unfortunately there was an older lady there who also needed to go to Pyeongtaek. That made the group six and the taxi could only hold five. According to what Meg could slightly understand, the old lady said she didn't want to ride with foreigners and just wanted to ride with the young girl. After about ten minutes of them arguing in Korean the young girl left and the taxi driver confirmed we wanted to go to Pyeongtaek. We said yes and ended up riding with the racist older lady. The ride was fairly long and there was more than one occasion where I thought we were going to die. Obviously we made it home safely though. When we got out the taxi driver charged us the whole fare for some reason. We protested a little but not speaking the language and being dead tired made us just concede and we ended up paying for the grouchy old lady's taxi ride. We paid, got out and they drove off. We were a little angry that we had to deal with that but there really isn't much we could do about it. After a very long day we said goodbye to Meg, grabbed a taxi of our own and headed home.

Needless to say, it was a very eventful day. We walked around Korea for about fourteen hours. Even though we were all tired (and Audrey unfortunately hurt her knee), I think we all had a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to going on more trips with this little group we created.

I'll try to post more later today but I hope you enjoyed this very long post.