I hate you, Peach! AKA Why I Should Never Be Allowed Into a Casino

Josh:

Let's continue where I left off but with a brand new state of mind, shall we?

Over the next couple of weeks not much happened (or at least not much that I remember). I'm sure I had tons of adventures but I wasn't smart enough to take notes in my notebook like I have done for so many other stories. Oops. The next entry in my book is on a Saturday (5/15/10) so I will just start there:

Have you ever felt that teachers need a holiday? I don't know about anyone else, but I never really gave it a thought. I understand mother and father's day but giving a day for a specific job is kind of unfair. Teachers are very important, of course, but what about doctor's day or construction worker's day? All of these jobs are essential to create a properly functioning society. Yes, teachers do have to deal with crazy kids and their parents but doctors have to deal with difficult patients also and construction workers have to deal with work hazards on a daily basis .

(I really hate to use doctors and construction workers as examples because it seems so cliche but I also feel that if I don't use them and search for a random job then I will be seen as "trying to be random" and come off as annoying. Ah, the dangers of writing).

In Korea, teachers have a holiday (as you might have guessed from my rant above). There are quite a few more certain people specific holidays in Korea such as Teachers' Day or Children's Day.

(One last side note: When I first heard that there was a Children's Day in Korea I thought, "Man, that is so unfair. I always wanted a Children's Day in America!" Then I thought about it and learned more. Quite frankly, I'm glad I grew up in a country that doesn't need a Children's Day. Think about it.)

Anyway, that Saturday (5/15/10) was Teachers' Day in Korea. I had heard about it before and I was fairly excited until I realized it doesn't really matter because I don't work on Saturdays. It turns out that you don't get the day off even if you do work on Saturday. What do you get on Teachers' Day then? Flowers. Don't get me wrong, it would be really nice to get flowers of appreciative students but in a stressed out society, wouldn't a day off be a little bit more effective? They used to get presents but due to the obvious issue of bribery they changed it to only flowers. I was hoping to at least get a note or something when I came back to my desk on Monday but I came back to an empty desk. Not a single flower; not even one picked out of the garden of the school! I then shed a single manly tear and went on with my day.

Back to the day; no more tangents (for now). Audrey and I decided it would be good to explore AK Plaza (we never really looked around up to until that day). We found out that it was huge. There were tons of department stores filled with overpriced goodies. We even found a bookstore. We decided to look around for any English books and ended up finding the Ponyo soundtrack (which we snatched up) along with a few other little gifts and ideas for the families back home.

Just as we were about to leave I saw a row of quarter machines so, being the five-year-old that I am, I decided to look at them. All of them were garbage (big surprise) except for one that had these Mario action figure type things. I thought, "Yeah, that would be cool to get a little Mario, Goomba or Bowser. Maybe I'll try it out." There were only about six or seven different characters and I thought it would be cool to collect a few to decorate my desk with. As I said, there was one or two Marios, a stack of little monsters, Bowser, Princess Toadstool and another random girl in a blue dress. I looked at the price: 2000 Won. I thought, "A little steep, but I could at least get one or two Marios maybe." I got change for my cash and went over to the machine like a kid who just received his allowance from his mommy. I put in my first 2000 Won and turned the crank. I felt like I was reliving my childhood. There was a serious lack of cool quarter machines back in the US so here I was getting a really awesome prize from a quarter machine in Korea. I finished turning the crank and I heard the ball drop. I opened the door and grabbed my prize. I turned it in my hand to see none other than Princess Toadstool, AKA Peach AKA the one prize that I didn't want. I thought, "Aw, man. Well I'll just do another and hopefully get Mario." For some reason I really really wanted a Mario figure. I put in the next 2000 Won and turned the crank once more. My prize dropped and I pulled it out. Peach was staring at me through her plastic ball prison once again. You can imagine that I started getting a little frustrated at this point. "Alright! One more. I'm bound to get Mario now. The odds are in my favor." I put another 2000 Won into the machine and turned the crank once more. The ball fell, I opened the door and saw a different color other than pink! Finally! I turned the ball over to look inside and it was the random girl in a blue dress. She was the only other prize that I didn't want. I almost put my fist through the machine. I had just dumped 6000 Won into this machine and out of the seven different prizes I only received the ones I didn't want. Of course these machines were near the children's section of the bookstore so I couldn't react at all lest I become the 23 year old who broke down in front Korean children due to a quarter machine. Audrey was standing next to me and watching my disappointment grow after each turn.

"Okay, time to go, Josh."
"Wait, wait. I mean, what are the odds? I'm bound to get Mario now!"
"No."
"Just one more."
"No."

At that point I yell, "YOU HATE ME!" and run off with my arms flailing at my side. Or in reality,

"Okay." *frowny face*
"Don't give me that look."
"But...but...Mario..."

We then start to walk away and I take one last look at my hopes and dreams. "Goodbye, Mario," I whisper into the wind.

After I stuff my crappy prizes in the backpack we decide to continue our exploration. Since were already on the top floor (or so we thought) we decided to take the elevator down. Intelligently enough, we stepped into an elevator that took us up for some reason. We thought, "It'll be one floor then we can take it down." When the doors opened up we saw a entire garden overlooking the city.

We both jumped out of the elevator and started to explore. We had no idea that there was a little park type place on the top of AK Plaza. We were really happy with our find and started a video tour.



As you can tell, at the end of it we ran into some of my students and their friends. We started talking and hanging out with them. We also took a few pictures:










































Audrey was cold so one of my students gave her his jacket. I decided I would try it on and the resulting picture makes me look like an absolute maniac. I was generous enough to post it though, because I know everyone would want to see it.

So we sat and talked for a little bit. I took out my three disappointments and gave them to my students because I wasn't sure what I was going to do with all the Peaches (I also found out at that point that the girl in the blue dress was a different version of Peach - GAH!) The girls seemed to enjoy them and the guys thought they were neat. In a little bit one of the students said, "Shim-shim." Luckily Audrey knew what that meant. "You're bored? I know what that means! Hah!" They vehemently denied it but we decided it would be good to head out and find more entertaining grounds. Even though it was Teachers' Day we decided to take the kids to an arcade and have some fun. I ran downstairs and got some cash ("Oh! Teacher rich!") and met up with Audrey and the girls at the arcade. I played some air hockey (finally got beat after years and years of a perfect record) and passed out coins like it was going out of style. I had trouble having them accept the coins because they didn't want to seem rude by taking too much money. I was really happy that they were all raised right so I forced the money on them and made them play House of the Dead with me. We played for a little while but eventually it got too hot and we left the arcade.

It was beginning to become late and one of the girls had to start heading home so we went down to the train station. I ran into a few more of my students (and one mother) plus a couple other English teachers that we knew. I was surprised that we kept running into so many people. Normally it's pretty rare to see anyone we know, much less a whole bunch of students and other English teachers. One of my students had to head home so we said goodbye and we started to wait for the girl's train. It was going to be about an hour and some change before it arrived at the station so we decided to quickly grab some dinner. We took them to the Korean restaurant that we like, quickly ordered and ate as fast as possible. One thing that I noticed was that my students were looking at me when the food arrived. I then realized what it was. In Korea, it's rude to eat first unless you are the oldest. They were waiting for the eldest to take a bite first. It took me a minute to get it but after I realized it I shoved some food into my mouth and they started eating. Once again, I was really happy to see high school students being so polite. After a quick meal, the girls headed out and only two of my students were left.

We took them to the place where Audrey kept winning prizes because of her shooting skills and the students were really impressed. We eventually decided it was too late for them and finally parted ways with my students. It was really good to get to see them outside of class and start to know them a little better as people. Overall, they seem like great kids to me and I am still impressed at their courtesy and manners.

After the kids left, I suggested where to go next,

"Hey, so, maybe we should go back to the bookstore in AK Plaza. Maybe we missed a really good English book there, you know?"
"No you cannot try to get a Mario."
"But come on! Look at the odds!"

After realizing that AK Plaza was already closed, we decided to call it a night and head home.

The next day...

We found ourselves hanging out with friends in AK Plaza. I took the opportunity to sneak away and ran up to the bookstore. I confronted my enemy one last time. I had a handful of change from the arcade last night and I was ready to use it. I popped in my first 2000 and turned the crank. I was determined to get my Mario! You can probably guess what happened. Yet another Peach came out.

No! This wasn't fair! The odds are even higher now! Come on, Mario! I threw down another 2000 Won. PEACH!

Why are you punishing me? I didn't do anything! It has to be different now. Another 2000 Won appeared in the machine. Blue! NO! BLUE PEACH!

It couldn't be. This had to be a joke. The Mario was just on top, waiting for me, calling to me:

"Justa one morea, Joshua."
"Yes! One more!"

I threw in another 2000 Won. It had to be Mario this time. SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY, I GOT ANOTHER PEACH!

For those of you keeping track, I am now up to SEVEN Peaches!

For some reason my mind said, "Dude, Josh. Think of the odds. How many Peaches do you really think are in there? Come on!" to which I replied, "You're right! One more!"

The crank turned and the ball dropped. I knew this was the moment. I reached inside. It's Mario. I know it. My mind clearly wasn't thinking because when I turned it around it was yet another Peach.

Eight. I'm now up to eight freaking Peaches. I knew that if I didn't do it again, some little punk would come along and steal my Mario! After all the work I did wading through Peaches, this kid was going to steal my Mario. Not if I had anything to say about it! I threw in another 2000 Won.

...

I almost lit the store on fire at this point because low and behold, I HAD ANOTHER PEACH!

I had tried this machine nine times and every single time I received the one character I didn't want. I didn't even care if I got Mario anymore. I just wanted something other than Peach! I reached into my pocket once more, pulled out my frog and found him to be surprisingly light.

No! This can't be! I opened the frog and found him to be completely empty save for a few 10 Won pieces. I desperately reached into my other pocket and pulled out my wallet. I had to have cash somewhere! I opened it up and a little butterfly flew out laughing, nay, taunting me in all of my broke misery.

After considering mugging some kids for some Won, I stuffed all six Peaches into various pockets (I must have looked like I had some really bad tumors) and walked back to Audrey and my friends with my head hung low.

"Hey, how did it go?"
"I GOT SIX MORE FREAKING PEACHES!"
"Oh. Well, that's what happens when you gamble."
*holding back tears with my head hung low* "I just wanted a Mario for my desk..."
"I know. I know." *pat pat*

I guess Meg felt bad for me because Audrey and her then went to the bookstore when I wasn't around and dropped another 2000 Won on that machine. Guess what they got? That's right. Peach. If it counts I really really appreciate the gesture and was really touched by the fact that they would waste their money on a stupid obsession of mine.

Meg: "I'm going to get a Mario one day and then I'm going to show it to you and say, 'How much is he worth to you? Do you really want him?'"

I said I would resist, but at that point I would probably have given my left arm for a Mario. Please keep in mind that I am left handed.

For those of you keeping track at home, we dropped a total of 20,000 Won on the quarter machine. For those who remember the conversion rate, that is roughly $20.

If any of you thought that I couldn't sink any lower, I just want to let you know that I still try to trick Audrey into going into the bookstore with me so I can try again. I always get a resounding,

"No."