My morning

Josh:

I decided to take a break from updating day by day to give you a quick glimpse into my morning. Here is the conversation I have with my shower every morning.



Josh: Hey shower. What's up?

Shower: Oh nothin.

J: Let's do this. (turns on shower to the highest level of hot)

S: WAIT, WAIT! Did you remember to turn on the hot water?

J: Yes, I did it like five or ten minutes ago.

(Two minutes of freezing cold water)

S: Oh! I see it now. Okay, good to go. So you wanted the hottest water right?
(Water becomes scalding)

J: OW! No, no. (Turns down a few inches)

S: Oh okay! So you wanted freezing water? (Water turns freezing)

J: NO! (turns water up a tiny bit)

S: Oh okay, gotcha. So a little less hot but still unbearably hot right? (hot water again)

J: Aaah...no, close. (turns nozzle down 1 cm - just the tiniest movement)

S: Got it. 40 degrees cooler. Done.

J: NO! (turns up nozzle up smaller than 1 cm - even tinier movement)

S: Ooooh! So hot right? (once again hot water)

J: *sigh*

(Five minutes pass playing the same game of barely adjusting the nozzle, finally gets to perfect temperature)

S: Wait! Looks like someone in the block wants to wash his hands. Oh wait, they asked for warm water. Hold on, let me make sure they get the hot water. (water turns freezing)

J: ....

S: Wait, he needs more water. Let me turn the water down to just a tiny drizzle.

J: Sweet.

(Water warms up slightly so Josh moves his face right next to the shower head in an attempt to wash his face with the weak stream of water)

S: Oh he's done. FULL POWER! (Water turns on full blast)

J: AAAH! That's my face!

S: Oh crap, really? Well if you wanted a weaker stream here you go. (Water turns back to weak stream)

J: No, no, please go back to a better stream.

S: Oh gotcha (water stream gets slightly stronger)

J: God, I hate you.

(Continues shower following similar pattern)

S: Oh man, you've been here for like, 10 minutes so I'm going to lower the temperature a little and make the water stream really weak. Cool?

J: I wish you weren't inanimate so I could kill you when you sleep.

S: Sorry, I didn't hear you. It sounded something like you want freezing cold water. Done!


Welcome to my morning.