Josh:
I don't know if you can tell or not, but all semblance of chronological order has really gone out the door. The main reason is because I'm not as diligent in writing down the events of the day in my notebook; I'm sure there are tons of hilarious stories that I'm missing out on writing. The good news is that the ones that are important pop into my head every now and then.
After I posted the entry about the housewarming party, I looked at the other pictures and I remembered why I was frequently covering my mouth or ducking into the back room: I was deathly ill the day before. For those of you who don't know my patterns for being sick very well, let me explain a little. I tend to not get sick very often (knock wood), but when I do, it doesn't mess around.
Any of you heard the story of my first date with Audrey? I asked her to go see a movie a few days earlier and everything was going fine. The day before I started to feel a little sick but thought nothing of it. The big day came and I woke up feeling a little worse but I figured it would be okay. I met up with Audrey and we went to the movies. Everything was going great (we saw 300 so that really made it epic) until I started losing hearing in one of my ears (I think it was my right). I thought it was just plugged (like when you drive in the mountains) so I tried to clear it to no avail and gave up and ignored it. By the end of the night I had lost hearing in that ear completely and started to feel a little delirious. Naturally, I couldn't be a wuss and say, "I think I'm sick, boo hoo," to the girl I was attempting to court so I didn't let her know. After we said goodbye, I went home as fast as humanly possible and I thought I was going to die. I felt so bad I asked Grant for help and even called my dad to figure out what was going on. I took my temperature and it said I was perfectly fine for some reason. After deciding it was best to try to sleep it off, I laid down and had a fairly restless night. I woke up the next morning with a small puddle of blood and earwax on my pillow. I decided it was a good idea to go to the doctors at the point. It turned out that I had two types of ear infections (internal and some kind of external) and had to take two different medicines to try to clear it up. I had to sleep on a pile of tissues for about a week because I didn't want to ruin my pillow. I don't remember how long it took me to tell Audrey but I'm pretty sure it was somewhere along the lines of after a month or so. She wasn't really too happy with me,
"You were that sick and you didn't tell me?"
"Well, I didn't want to be a wuss and miss out on a first date."
I have a bad habit of trying to play the "tough guy" card when I get sick. You know why? Because I OOZE TESTOSTERONE, BABY! I'll let that mental image sink in before I move on.
Anyway, that story pretty much exemplifies every time I get sick: I get deathly ill, I don't tell Audrey, she finds out later, she gets mad. Surprise, surprise, that pattern exists even outside of the US.
I started feeling a little sick during the week before our housewarming party. I didn't think much of it and was just a little annoyed by it. I wasn't at the point where I could stay home but I was certainly at a point where I could feel it. You remember the post where I mentioned to my students that I wasn't feeling well and couldn't talk so they all were quiet for me? That's the week I'm talking about. My throat slowly got progressively worse and it became harder and harder to talk. On Thursday night it all culminated into a very bad night for me. I woke up almost every hour because I felt so sick. I even felt my forehead and it felt really hot. It's pretty bad when you can feel your own forehead and feel that it's hot. Audrey was sleeping peacefully so I didn't want to wake her because she had to get up early. After a long night of tossing and turning, the alarm went off and we were both awake. As Audrey was getting ready I asked her if she could call Ms. Kim and ask her to take me to the doctors because I was in pretty bad shape. She felt my forehead and it was still really hot. She called Ms. Kim and Mr. Chu and told them both that neither of us could come in (she wanted to make sure I was okay). Ms. Kim offered to drive us to the hospital around 9AM so I tried to go back to sleep; Audrey would frequently bring me water. Luckily, by the time Ms. Kim picked us up the fever started to go down. We went to a shady looking doctors office (turned out it was pretty good) because it was recommended by another teacher. After waiting a few minutes and seeing other patients ham it up, I finally got to see the doctor. He examined me and took my temperature. I don't remember what it was exactly but it was somewhere around 38-39C (which is 100-102F). Keep in mind that the temperature the doctor took was significantly lower than what it was when I first woke up and when I first woke up it was lower than what it was at night. We guess it probably got around 104F or so. So the doctor pulled out a needle and stuck it in me to reduce the fever and then prescribed medicine (which we picked up right after). Ms. Kim then took us to a rice porridge place to help make me feel better. She was really nice and paid for the taxis and for our meal. She really is one of the most supportive teachers I've met. After that, we went home and I just relaxed for the entire day (we decided not to cancel the housewarming party because it was so close and people were already on their way over). The next day I still felt really bad but I was slowly getting better. I did receive a talking to from Audrey, though.
"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"
"I didn't want to wake you."
"If your fever was higher than what it was before, it was dangerously high."
"Yeah, but you had work in the morning and all that."
"You could have fried your brain and I would have been stuck taking care of you forever!"
"I guess if you put it that way...but I was fine and I just didn't want to wake you."
"I'm gonna kill you."
"Not if my temperature does first! Hahahahahaha....too soon?"
I kept that last line to myself because I could tell it wouldn't have been as funny to her as it was to me.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Wash my laundry! NOW!
Josh:
I recently noticed that one of my classes was slowly dwindling in numbers. It started out with twenty kids and, over the months, somehow went down to sixteen. Four students might not seem like that many but when you look at it by saying that 1/5th of my students went missing, then the number magically seems significantly higher. I asked Ms. Kim why my class shrunk so much,
"Sixteen seems a little low. Are we missing anyone?"
"Oh, no. Two kids are special ed and the other two quit school."
"What? They quit?"
"Yes, they are no longer at this school."
Quite frankly, I was really curious as to how and why those kids managed to quit high school. After class I stopped her before she left,
"So why did those kids quit?"
"They were threatening other kids."
"Oh, wow so they got expelled then?"
"Yes."
"What were they doing?"
"They were threatening kids in the dorms and forcing them to give them money and make them do their laundry."
"What? Really? Wow, well I guess it makes sense that they got expelled then."
Now extortion is obviously very bad and the only solution was to expel those kids (because they all lived together in the dorms). I find it really hard to convey how it was said though. The way I understood it was that the money theft wasn't the main crime (as in it wasn't done as often). The main crime was forcing other kids to do their laundry. Maybe it's just the fact that I have a weird outlook on it but who in the world threatens other kids to make them do their laundry? Can you imagine the conversation?
*Shoves kid into a wall* "Hey, punk! Where you going?"
"Oh, no where, Jimmy. I was just on my way.."
"Shut up!"
"Oh, yes. Well, here is my lunch mone.."
"I said shut up! I'm not gonna take your money. I got somethin better planned for you."
"What....?"
*Jimmy drags the kid into a laundry room. The kid sees two baskets filled with dirty clothes*
"You're gonna do my laundry, punk!"
"Wait, what?"
"That's right! And I didn't even sort out the colors from the whites! DEAL WITH IT! When I come back, I want to see my face shining in my uniform!"
"That doesn't even make...sense."
"Shut up! Get to work!"
I don't know about you but even if I threatened physical violence, I still wouldn't trust other people doing my laundry. I could imagine someone, oh I don't know, peeing into my laundry. What do you do at that point? You can beat the kid up but the next day you're still going to smell like urine and your whites wouldn't be, well, white anymore. Then not only do you have to deal with the consequences of beating a kid up but you smell like asparagus while your principle chews you out. It just doesn't seem like a good idea to me.
You'll have to forgive my humorous outlook on a fairly bad situation. Obviously, I felt really angry that my students were being threatened and I didn't know about it; there's nothing I could really do since the entire affair passed without my knowledge or action. It is rather unfortunate that those kids had to be expelled because they may continue their course down the wrong path but I don't really see a better solution given my school's situation. Hopefully there is some other school around that will accept them, clean up their act and they will still have a future.
Let's steer away from Mr. Seriouspants and talk about a few other things, shall we?
Are you ready for another rant about the differences in Korea and the US? For some strange reason almost every single Korean in a public place only goes through one door. I'm talking anywhere at any time. Let's take AK Plaza during rush hour as an example. People will bottle neck through one door with people trying to leave and people trying to get it. It's not like there aren't other doors; in fact, there are close to ten other doors and all of them remained closed save for one. It's really easy for me because I just look at the line, step to the left and I'm inside the building while others are fighting to get in and out. It doesn't really effect me until I start holding the door open for people. I'll open the door and start to walk through and right as I start to let go I see three people running toward my door. I can't just let the door slam in their face so I stop moving, lose balance a little and lean backwards to hold the door open for them. I start to right myself when five other people run into my doorway. Keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen, that there are usually at least six other doors they can use. This dance of me trying to leave my post as a doorman but people keep coming in (and none of them offer to take the door like most normal people would offer to) can last for several minutes. Eventually I will see someone that I assume capable of opening a door coming towards me and I just let it go. I still feel bad for letting the door close even though I've been standing there for five minutes and my friends have already left me behind. I understand not wanting to exert the five calories it takes to pull open a door, but come on! All it takes is a sidestep, a little tug and you are free to go wherever you want instead of shoving your way into a building.
I talked to another teacher about this (I don't remember who so sorry for not giving credit where it is due) and he/she came up with a fairly reasonable explanation. I forgot to mention that sometimes doors are arbitrarily locked in Korea. One side of a door will be unlocked while the right will remain shut no matter how hard you pull on it (even for big businesses like AK Plaza). It's actually really annoying when you're trying to get somewhere and it seems like every door you try is locked. Here is what the other teacher said:
"You ever try to open a door and have it be locked? It's really embarrassing to keep tugging on a door while everyone walks past you through the obviously unlocked door."
True dat (to use a colloquialism). I guess narcissism and worries about public image make people do all sorts of things, including shove through a tiny doorway.
Speaking of awkward moments inside of a building (I'm back to using transitions again), I would like to share my experience of seeing Prince of Persia. Libby decided to visit and help Audrey teach a couple of classes (so the kids could see a native Korean who can speak English perfectly) and one night we decided to go see a movie. Since the pickings were a little slim and we wanted to see how it was anyway, we decided on Prince of Persia. While we were waiting for the movie to start I noticed a particularly awkward couple. The girl had a skirt that barely, and I mean barely in the most literal sense, covered her butt. The guy was also dressed like a hipster and they were constantly touching each other. It was really awkward, as I said. I put them out of my head and I went on to win a couple of stuffed hedgehogs and a lame necklace out of crane machines (score). When it was finally time to see the movie we went upstairs and found our seats (remember that movie theater seats are assigned in Korea). As I walked over to my seat, I look up and who do I see? The awkward couple. Great. I take my seat (next to the girl) and we prepare for the cinematic disaster that was Prince of Persia.
The movie was just on the cusp of being really cool but terrible dialogue and a poorly written story made it one of the longest hour and a half movies I have ever seen. It felt like I was watching The Lord of the Rings extended edition. So here I am sitting through a really bad movie when I feel something touch my leg. Naturally, I look at my knee and see that the girl's knee is now touching mine. I look over and see that her legs are now spread wide open (excuse the image for my more sensitive readers). Her skirt is now pretty much covering what underwear would. Before I manage to turn my head to metaphorically burn out my eyes, I notice that the guy's hand is pretty much at the same place where her skirt was. Now I don't want to just metaphorically burn out my eyes. I pull every inch of my 6'4" frame to the right side of my seat lest I accidentally brush against her. "Fan-freaking-tastic," I say to myself. Now I'm stuck in a terrible movie next to a couple that likes to take PDA to another level. To all the couples out there in the movie going world: If you choose to engage in such amorous activities, please make sure you are away from other people. That would be great. Thanks.
Moving on to another subject, I would like to mention at least that we got to visit Libby's house in Korea. I have to say it is a really nice house. It's in a gorgeous town and is right next to a giant forest. It would be amazing to live in that area. I mentioned that I want to come back and go hiking in that area and Libby said it would be fun. We only spent a little bit of time with her but we had still had a great time. We had a homemade dinner with her family, talked until very late at night, got up early, went to her church and got to go to Outback Steakhouse (which made Josh very happy). It was a good little mini-vacation and it made me really happy to see a part of Korea that was so green and peaceful.
During the night, her mom brought out some kind of gummy candy. Since I am a big taffy/gummy person, I tore right into them. They were really good and I had a decent amount of them. It turns out that the candy advertises being healthy for you. In what way, you ask? Well, it's so good for you that you urine stream will be able to punch a hole in the toilet. I can't make that up; that's what the candy actually advertises. As I said, I had quite a few and by the end of the night we were a little worried about the structural integrity of her house's toilet.
(I just realized that I made two references to urine in one post. Sorry, I didn't actually mean to. It just happened)
Because I have a feeling that the next post will be really long, I will squeeze one more story in.
After two or three months of living here, Audrey and I finally had our housewarming party. We invited tons of people along with all of our co-teachers. We even prepped beforehand by making pots filled with pasta and other dishes. As the people started pouring in, our table became filled with dishes that our guests brought. There was even a homemade cake made inside a rice cooker! It really made me appreciate how many people we actually ended up meeting here and how good of people they are. I know that I'm really glad that I met every single person and I'm truly appreciative that they still hang out with us. I don't mean to seem "sentimental" or any lame garbage like that but I just wanted to say how happy I am with our group of friends and I'm really happy that we keep finding more and more cool people to join.
Here are a few of the pictures from that day:
To quote Meg, "Holla, holla, holla!"
I recently noticed that one of my classes was slowly dwindling in numbers. It started out with twenty kids and, over the months, somehow went down to sixteen. Four students might not seem like that many but when you look at it by saying that 1/5th of my students went missing, then the number magically seems significantly higher. I asked Ms. Kim why my class shrunk so much,
"Sixteen seems a little low. Are we missing anyone?"
"Oh, no. Two kids are special ed and the other two quit school."
"What? They quit?"
"Yes, they are no longer at this school."
Quite frankly, I was really curious as to how and why those kids managed to quit high school. After class I stopped her before she left,
"So why did those kids quit?"
"They were threatening other kids."
"Oh, wow so they got expelled then?"
"Yes."
"What were they doing?"
"They were threatening kids in the dorms and forcing them to give them money and make them do their laundry."
"What? Really? Wow, well I guess it makes sense that they got expelled then."
Now extortion is obviously very bad and the only solution was to expel those kids (because they all lived together in the dorms). I find it really hard to convey how it was said though. The way I understood it was that the money theft wasn't the main crime (as in it wasn't done as often). The main crime was forcing other kids to do their laundry. Maybe it's just the fact that I have a weird outlook on it but who in the world threatens other kids to make them do their laundry? Can you imagine the conversation?
*Shoves kid into a wall* "Hey, punk! Where you going?"
"Oh, no where, Jimmy. I was just on my way.."
"Shut up!"
"Oh, yes. Well, here is my lunch mone.."
"I said shut up! I'm not gonna take your money. I got somethin better planned for you."
"What....?"
*Jimmy drags the kid into a laundry room. The kid sees two baskets filled with dirty clothes*
"You're gonna do my laundry, punk!"
"Wait, what?"
"That's right! And I didn't even sort out the colors from the whites! DEAL WITH IT! When I come back, I want to see my face shining in my uniform!"
"That doesn't even make...sense."
"Shut up! Get to work!"
I don't know about you but even if I threatened physical violence, I still wouldn't trust other people doing my laundry. I could imagine someone, oh I don't know, peeing into my laundry. What do you do at that point? You can beat the kid up but the next day you're still going to smell like urine and your whites wouldn't be, well, white anymore. Then not only do you have to deal with the consequences of beating a kid up but you smell like asparagus while your principle chews you out. It just doesn't seem like a good idea to me.
You'll have to forgive my humorous outlook on a fairly bad situation. Obviously, I felt really angry that my students were being threatened and I didn't know about it; there's nothing I could really do since the entire affair passed without my knowledge or action. It is rather unfortunate that those kids had to be expelled because they may continue their course down the wrong path but I don't really see a better solution given my school's situation. Hopefully there is some other school around that will accept them, clean up their act and they will still have a future.
Let's steer away from Mr. Seriouspants and talk about a few other things, shall we?
Are you ready for another rant about the differences in Korea and the US? For some strange reason almost every single Korean in a public place only goes through one door. I'm talking anywhere at any time. Let's take AK Plaza during rush hour as an example. People will bottle neck through one door with people trying to leave and people trying to get it. It's not like there aren't other doors; in fact, there are close to ten other doors and all of them remained closed save for one. It's really easy for me because I just look at the line, step to the left and I'm inside the building while others are fighting to get in and out. It doesn't really effect me until I start holding the door open for people. I'll open the door and start to walk through and right as I start to let go I see three people running toward my door. I can't just let the door slam in their face so I stop moving, lose balance a little and lean backwards to hold the door open for them. I start to right myself when five other people run into my doorway. Keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen, that there are usually at least six other doors they can use. This dance of me trying to leave my post as a doorman but people keep coming in (and none of them offer to take the door like most normal people would offer to) can last for several minutes. Eventually I will see someone that I assume capable of opening a door coming towards me and I just let it go. I still feel bad for letting the door close even though I've been standing there for five minutes and my friends have already left me behind. I understand not wanting to exert the five calories it takes to pull open a door, but come on! All it takes is a sidestep, a little tug and you are free to go wherever you want instead of shoving your way into a building.
I talked to another teacher about this (I don't remember who so sorry for not giving credit where it is due) and he/she came up with a fairly reasonable explanation. I forgot to mention that sometimes doors are arbitrarily locked in Korea. One side of a door will be unlocked while the right will remain shut no matter how hard you pull on it (even for big businesses like AK Plaza). It's actually really annoying when you're trying to get somewhere and it seems like every door you try is locked. Here is what the other teacher said:
"You ever try to open a door and have it be locked? It's really embarrassing to keep tugging on a door while everyone walks past you through the obviously unlocked door."
True dat (to use a colloquialism). I guess narcissism and worries about public image make people do all sorts of things, including shove through a tiny doorway.
Speaking of awkward moments inside of a building (I'm back to using transitions again), I would like to share my experience of seeing Prince of Persia. Libby decided to visit and help Audrey teach a couple of classes (so the kids could see a native Korean who can speak English perfectly) and one night we decided to go see a movie. Since the pickings were a little slim and we wanted to see how it was anyway, we decided on Prince of Persia. While we were waiting for the movie to start I noticed a particularly awkward couple. The girl had a skirt that barely, and I mean barely in the most literal sense, covered her butt. The guy was also dressed like a hipster and they were constantly touching each other. It was really awkward, as I said. I put them out of my head and I went on to win a couple of stuffed hedgehogs and a lame necklace out of crane machines (score). When it was finally time to see the movie we went upstairs and found our seats (remember that movie theater seats are assigned in Korea). As I walked over to my seat, I look up and who do I see? The awkward couple. Great. I take my seat (next to the girl) and we prepare for the cinematic disaster that was Prince of Persia.
The movie was just on the cusp of being really cool but terrible dialogue and a poorly written story made it one of the longest hour and a half movies I have ever seen. It felt like I was watching The Lord of the Rings extended edition. So here I am sitting through a really bad movie when I feel something touch my leg. Naturally, I look at my knee and see that the girl's knee is now touching mine. I look over and see that her legs are now spread wide open (excuse the image for my more sensitive readers). Her skirt is now pretty much covering what underwear would. Before I manage to turn my head to metaphorically burn out my eyes, I notice that the guy's hand is pretty much at the same place where her skirt was. Now I don't want to just metaphorically burn out my eyes. I pull every inch of my 6'4" frame to the right side of my seat lest I accidentally brush against her. "Fan-freaking-tastic," I say to myself. Now I'm stuck in a terrible movie next to a couple that likes to take PDA to another level. To all the couples out there in the movie going world: If you choose to engage in such amorous activities, please make sure you are away from other people. That would be great. Thanks.
Moving on to another subject, I would like to mention at least that we got to visit Libby's house in Korea. I have to say it is a really nice house. It's in a gorgeous town and is right next to a giant forest. It would be amazing to live in that area. I mentioned that I want to come back and go hiking in that area and Libby said it would be fun. We only spent a little bit of time with her but we had still had a great time. We had a homemade dinner with her family, talked until very late at night, got up early, went to her church and got to go to Outback Steakhouse (which made Josh very happy). It was a good little mini-vacation and it made me really happy to see a part of Korea that was so green and peaceful.
During the night, her mom brought out some kind of gummy candy. Since I am a big taffy/gummy person, I tore right into them. They were really good and I had a decent amount of them. It turns out that the candy advertises being healthy for you. In what way, you ask? Well, it's so good for you that you urine stream will be able to punch a hole in the toilet. I can't make that up; that's what the candy actually advertises. As I said, I had quite a few and by the end of the night we were a little worried about the structural integrity of her house's toilet.
(I just realized that I made two references to urine in one post. Sorry, I didn't actually mean to. It just happened)
Because I have a feeling that the next post will be really long, I will squeeze one more story in.
After two or three months of living here, Audrey and I finally had our housewarming party. We invited tons of people along with all of our co-teachers. We even prepped beforehand by making pots filled with pasta and other dishes. As the people started pouring in, our table became filled with dishes that our guests brought. There was even a homemade cake made inside a rice cooker! It really made me appreciate how many people we actually ended up meeting here and how good of people they are. I know that I'm really glad that I met every single person and I'm truly appreciative that they still hang out with us. I don't mean to seem "sentimental" or any lame garbage like that but I just wanted to say how happy I am with our group of friends and I'm really happy that we keep finding more and more cool people to join.
Here are a few of the pictures from that day:
To quote Meg, "Holla, holla, holla!"
The Last Chapter in the Peach Saga and Other Stories
Josh:
A quick update on the Peach situation. After writing the post yesterday, I felt the urge to go back to AK Plaza and finally claim my Mario. Here's what happened:
We were planning to go to Costco on Monday 7/5/10. For some reason, the idea of going to Costco just sounded really really bad to me (I have no idea why). Since we already made plans with the boys from the local store, we couldn't really back out so we went to AK Plaza to buy our tickets. Keep in mind that the train ride is about 1 hour and 15 minutes, I don't even get off until 5PM and Costco closes at 10PM. We were in a little bit of a rush, needless to say. After we ate, we met up and went to buy our tickets. After we had paid for them, we looked down at the time and the train was going to leave at 7:45PM which would put us in Costco around 9PM. I was a little frustrated at this obviously. That was significantly later than I wanted to be out and I didn't really even want to go out.
We decided to go ahead anyway and wait for the train. We had an hour to kill before it left so we decided to grab drinks. Audrey went to the place where she usually gets her strawberry slushee thing and it turned out they were all out of the ingredients. That's the first time that ever happened. So after a second disappointment, we head over to Starbucks (crazy Americans). It turns out that they have trouble with the order and it takes an extra five minutes attempting communication with workers. Eventually it gets sorted out but by now I am feeling like the fates are aligned against us. I may have only listed one major and two minor problems but it really felt like the entire world was against us and everything that could go wrong, was going wrong. We decided to try to make the best of it and went upstairs to play in the arcade. We got some change and since I had written about Peach that day, the idea of Mario was fresh in my head. I said,
"You know what? What can possibly go wrong? The fates are already aligned against me but I already know I'll only get Peach so it's not like I'll be that disappointed. Take that world!"
I walked downstairs to the bookstore with a pocket full of change, ready to get more Peaches and maybe redeem the day with a Mario. I got to the quarter machines and looked for the devil spawn. I stopped. I thought it was on the right, but maybe I just forgot. I scanned all eight quarter machines. Wait, where could it be? I looked closely at each machine individually. Pokemon, Yu-gi-oh, Winnie the Pooh, toy guns, another Pokemon, some children's anime thing, yet another Pokemon and...some random cat machine...
I had a "KHHAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!" moment in the store.
Why did I have to test the fates? I said the fated words, "What could possibly go wrong?" What could possibly go wrong? They could take away my Mario quarter machine! I didn't even factor that possibility in. Now I'm ridden with guilt because what if I didn't decide to test my luck that day? What if I said, "No, I will go another day when my luck is better," like a responsible adult. Maybe my Mario machine would still be there. But for now, possibly forever, this is what I am stuck with:
I have to move on before I rage any more about this. By the way, ten cool points to anyone who understands that Mario is Missing reference (I'm proud of myself for that one, by the way).
So that following Tuesday after 5/15/10 (or before then, I really got lazy labeling with my notebook) there was some sort of gathering for teachers after school. I don't remember what it was for but a bunch of teachers gathered near our gymnasium to drink and eat. They brought all sorts of weird food. I talked to a few of the teachers (which was great) but the most interesting part about this story was how much weird food I ate. The first on the list was some sort of block of meat (literally). I tried a slice of it and it really wasn't all that good. Apparently it was made up of various parts of a pig such as nose, hooves, face, ear, etc. Basically everything you don't want to eat smashed up into a giant block of meat. Appetizing, right? I then had a "Korean sausage". That was rice stuffed into pig's bowels with blood as a sauce. Oddly enough, that actually tasted okay. I don't think I'll eat it again because the thought of what I am eating is utterly disgusting; but I'm proud of myself for trying it. The last odd thing I had wasn't exactly odd to eat but just the way they explained it: "fruit of oak tree". It's basically this strange brown jelly (not very tasty) that's made out of some substance from an oak tree. I just thought the idea of a "fruit oak tree" was really funny.
Since this blog has no real cohesion or overall topic, I'll talk about something amusing that happened during one of my classes. There is a ten minute transition period between classes where the kids go to the bathroom, head to the different rooms, etc. This is the time when my kids start to slowly pour into my room. One day this kid had brought in two metal sticks that were bent near one end (basically shaped like an "L"). He then started walking around the class and made them come together whenever he got near another student. I thought, "Wait, is this kid using dowsing rods?" at which point I thought, "How do I know that?" which led to the better question, "How does he know that?" I guess this student found bent metal rods and then decided to turn them into dowsing rods for some odd reason. Who in the world thinks of that? I know that if I found metal rods the last thing I think of is, "Hey I can use this as a fake dowsing rod," and then walk around crossing them when I got near students.
No transition can take me anywhere after this so with that, I end this entry.
A quick update on the Peach situation. After writing the post yesterday, I felt the urge to go back to AK Plaza and finally claim my Mario. Here's what happened:
We were planning to go to Costco on Monday 7/5/10. For some reason, the idea of going to Costco just sounded really really bad to me (I have no idea why). Since we already made plans with the boys from the local store, we couldn't really back out so we went to AK Plaza to buy our tickets. Keep in mind that the train ride is about 1 hour and 15 minutes, I don't even get off until 5PM and Costco closes at 10PM. We were in a little bit of a rush, needless to say. After we ate, we met up and went to buy our tickets. After we had paid for them, we looked down at the time and the train was going to leave at 7:45PM which would put us in Costco around 9PM. I was a little frustrated at this obviously. That was significantly later than I wanted to be out and I didn't really even want to go out.
We decided to go ahead anyway and wait for the train. We had an hour to kill before it left so we decided to grab drinks. Audrey went to the place where she usually gets her strawberry slushee thing and it turned out they were all out of the ingredients. That's the first time that ever happened. So after a second disappointment, we head over to Starbucks (crazy Americans). It turns out that they have trouble with the order and it takes an extra five minutes attempting communication with workers. Eventually it gets sorted out but by now I am feeling like the fates are aligned against us. I may have only listed one major and two minor problems but it really felt like the entire world was against us and everything that could go wrong, was going wrong. We decided to try to make the best of it and went upstairs to play in the arcade. We got some change and since I had written about Peach that day, the idea of Mario was fresh in my head. I said,
"You know what? What can possibly go wrong? The fates are already aligned against me but I already know I'll only get Peach so it's not like I'll be that disappointed. Take that world!"
I walked downstairs to the bookstore with a pocket full of change, ready to get more Peaches and maybe redeem the day with a Mario. I got to the quarter machines and looked for the devil spawn. I stopped. I thought it was on the right, but maybe I just forgot. I scanned all eight quarter machines. Wait, where could it be? I looked closely at each machine individually. Pokemon, Yu-gi-oh, Winnie the Pooh, toy guns, another Pokemon, some children's anime thing, yet another Pokemon and...some random cat machine...
I had a "KHHAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!" moment in the store.Why did I have to test the fates? I said the fated words, "What could possibly go wrong?" What could possibly go wrong? They could take away my Mario quarter machine! I didn't even factor that possibility in. Now I'm ridden with guilt because what if I didn't decide to test my luck that day? What if I said, "No, I will go another day when my luck is better," like a responsible adult. Maybe my Mario machine would still be there. But for now, possibly forever, this is what I am stuck with:
I have to move on before I rage any more about this. By the way, ten cool points to anyone who understands that Mario is Missing reference (I'm proud of myself for that one, by the way).
So that following Tuesday after 5/15/10 (or before then, I really got lazy labeling with my notebook) there was some sort of gathering for teachers after school. I don't remember what it was for but a bunch of teachers gathered near our gymnasium to drink and eat. They brought all sorts of weird food. I talked to a few of the teachers (which was great) but the most interesting part about this story was how much weird food I ate. The first on the list was some sort of block of meat (literally). I tried a slice of it and it really wasn't all that good. Apparently it was made up of various parts of a pig such as nose, hooves, face, ear, etc. Basically everything you don't want to eat smashed up into a giant block of meat. Appetizing, right? I then had a "Korean sausage". That was rice stuffed into pig's bowels with blood as a sauce. Oddly enough, that actually tasted okay. I don't think I'll eat it again because the thought of what I am eating is utterly disgusting; but I'm proud of myself for trying it. The last odd thing I had wasn't exactly odd to eat but just the way they explained it: "fruit of oak tree". It's basically this strange brown jelly (not very tasty) that's made out of some substance from an oak tree. I just thought the idea of a "fruit oak tree" was really funny.
Since this blog has no real cohesion or overall topic, I'll talk about something amusing that happened during one of my classes. There is a ten minute transition period between classes where the kids go to the bathroom, head to the different rooms, etc. This is the time when my kids start to slowly pour into my room. One day this kid had brought in two metal sticks that were bent near one end (basically shaped like an "L"). He then started walking around the class and made them come together whenever he got near another student. I thought, "Wait, is this kid using dowsing rods?" at which point I thought, "How do I know that?" which led to the better question, "How does he know that?" I guess this student found bent metal rods and then decided to turn them into dowsing rods for some odd reason. Who in the world thinks of that? I know that if I found metal rods the last thing I think of is, "Hey I can use this as a fake dowsing rod," and then walk around crossing them when I got near students.
No transition can take me anywhere after this so with that, I end this entry.
Monday, July 5, 2010
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius
Josh:
So the day after my humiliating defeat by a toy machine, we decided to go out with everybody and go see Robin Hood. It turns out that every other foreigner in Pyeongtaek showed up in the same exact movie theater at the same exact time. It was really weird that despite our best efforts to include everyone who might want to go, we still ran into a multitude of foreigners. There really isn't much to that story other than the fact that we ran into other foreigners.
Around this time I started to notice my eye was hurting whenever I would blink. It didn't feel like anything was in it; it just felt like I had a bruise for some reason. When we got home from the movie I looked in the mirror and sure enough my eye was swollen. I had and still have no idea what happened. I'm guessing that it was because of the dust from China and the fact that I almost always wore my contacts. Obviously I stopped wearing them for a while but it was just really strange because I was unable to blink for a few days without it hurting. I decided to wait a day or two and then go see the doctor. It cleared up within a couple of days but it was just really weird to me. I only bring it up to document that at some point my eye started acting strange and then magically fixed itself.
Now if you'll follow me, we will travel back in time to Thursday 5/13/10. I forgot to mention this very important day thanks to the fact that my notebook is a little out of order (way to go, notebook):
It was a normal day for me. I got up, got dressed and headed out to work. As I walked towards my building, I looked over at our soccer field and was greeted by this sight:
I thought, "Holy crap! They've finally rallied to try to kill me!" as any reasonable foreigner would. After calculating how many high school students I could possibly take, I suddenly remembered that today was Sports Day. I breathed a sigh of relief and ran inside the office to drop off my laptop. I had heard of other teachers having something called "Sports Day" before but I never really grasped how big of a deal it is in Korea. Sports Day is the one day of the entire year where everybody (teachers and students alike) can just relax and play sports together. They even go so far as to have each class pick out team colors and order personalized jerseys for every student. When I arrived, the opening ceremonies were just beginning. I stood next to Ms. Kim and started taking pictures.
All three of these pictures are group shots of all of my students. They divided the school up by grades so the left were my first graders followed by the second and then third graders.
One of the teachers came up to the podium they set up and started making some sort of announcement. Ms. Kim leaned over and explained that they were going to sing the Korean national anthem before they began. They had one of my first graders come up to the front stage and conduct while all the other students were singing. He seemed really embarrassed but be did a good job and shortly after, he ran back into line. The principle then stepped up to the podium and apparently gave out some sort of award (I have no idea what it was for):
After that began the stretching led by one of the teachers with a really loud whistle.
So after stretching everybody headed to the bleachers to watch the first graders play the starting game of soccer. They already had all the qualifying matches before and these two teams were competing to be top of their grade. As I was looking for a seat, a couple of students asked me to sit with them and even offered a board for me to sit on instead of sitting on the grass or concrete. I thought it was really nice of them so I took them up on their offer. The student sitting next to me would frequently comment on what team was better, what country their colors were, etc. "This team, garbage team. Other team better." I think I'm going to have to use that expression. "Yeah, well you're a garbage teacher!" I don't know how you could recover from a blow like that. Anyway, the game started and within the first ten seconds one of the teams scored. I remember certain kids being into watching sports in high school but they are nothing compared to these students. Everybody, and I mean everybody, would stand up and cheer as loud as possible. High school in America had a lot of students who were "too cool" to cheer. In Korea, it's cool to cheer and cheer loudly.
They also had drums and symbols that were constantly being played along with people who were cheering. Some of my favorite cheerleaders were the designated flag bearers. The second everyone sat down they would start fighting with the flags. When they saw a teacher looking at them they would immediately go back to waving the flag:
At one point they decided to create a super mascot and try to put everything on one person. Needless to say, it didn't work out very well but it sure was funny to watch.
It was at that point that I noticed that not every student had their name in Hangul. Some had personalized names in English. I started taking pictures of all the really funny ones. I'll start with this one for the moment and move onto the better ones later:
Here is a video of them cheering (during the second half). You will notice that they don't say "fighting" but instead say "hwaiting" because there is no "f" in the Korean alphabet. I thought it was amusing.
So during the second half of the game I switched sides so I could talk to other groups of students. I also decided to try to take team pictures. I was about to take a group shot of one team when the homeroom teacher wanted to jump in so I managed to get him and his team in the shot (the homeroom teacher is a fantastic guy who has a music studio above the English Zone and he even gave me a key to use it because he learned I play guitar. He said he wants to jam sometime and I thought that was one of the coolest things ever).
After the soccer game I waited and said, "Good job," to the players. They started changing their shoes for some reason and I noticed something really funny. My guy students had really really girly socks. In fact, one sock said this:
You probably can't read that very well but it actually says, "I am pretty girl." Yes, that is being worn by a guy. Apparently it's really common for guys to wear socks with teddy bears or cute little frogs on it. I guess it's just a thing here. I know that you would be laughed out of school if any guy tried to wear socks like that in my high school.
So after the soccer game I went over and watched more students play badminton and ping pong:
Sports Day has everything: soccer, badminton, ping pong, tug of war, jump rope and another weird game.
Remember those weird jerseys that I mentioned earlier? Well here are the ones I thought were most interesting. Before I post them I want to apologize for making my blog PG-13 (only one is allowed in PG-13 movies) but I thought it was so funny that they allowed this shirt to be made. I'll let you figure out what shirt I'm talking about:
The kids clearly knew what that meant because whenever he was losing he would point to the back of his shirt. I know that there are teachers that speak English here and I just wonder how something like that just managed to slip through.
Apparently one of my students is an electromagnetic pulse while the other is a member of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The letters with the heart turned out to be his girlfriends initials. Awwwwwww. That particular student will frequently doodle his initials and her initials with a heart in between them. I also asked him if he was a "mack daddy" and after some explaining he said, "No! Teacher! Only one girlfriend! That's what I want." Needless to say, I really like that student.
So after all these sports the kids started practicing for the team jump rope competition. They would all stand in a line and have to jump together and see how many consecutive jumps they could make. It was really funny when one student would mess up and the entire team would yell at them because they wanted to win so desperately.
Of course there were many students who just couldn't hold the urge to cheer in:
It was getting to be lunch time right about then so we all took a break and had Lotte burgers (tasty) and lots of Pocari Sweat (Powerade in Korea). I decided it was a good time to go around taking pictures.
I have even more but I realized that I've already uploaded a ridiculous amount of pictures so far. So as the day wore on we continued with more sports including a five person foot race:
They also did a big tug of war match later on
I really like all the students cheering on the side. They were like that for every single game.
Finally came the last sport of the day. I have no idea what it is called nor do I know what it is for. It seems ultra dangerous and just plain weird. Enjoy!
"Hey guys, you know what would be fun?"
"What?"
"If we ran on each others' backs."
"Yeah! Awesome!"
You'll notice the girl wearing the giraffe horns. A lot of the kids dressed up in make up and hats. This picture, however, is my favorite:
Who knew that the Joker was afraid of harmful UV rays?
When Sports Day was nearing the end I had to run into the English Zone to oversee some workers fixing the computer screen and all of the students monitors. For some reason we couldn't get the program up and running so we had to have specialists come in and fix them. They conveniently came during the teacher soccer match so I had an excuse to leave and not participate. I hadn't played soccer since I was in elementary school and I was little more than nervous playing in front of the entire school with my fellow teachers. After a little while of them fixing the computers another teacher came in a spoke to Ms. Kim (who was with me to translate). Apparently he was looking for me to participate in the soccer game. I thought, "Oh crap," and they asked me if I wanted to play soccer. I faltered a little saying I was no good but in the end I conceded and agreed to go play. I was wearing a button up and jeans so I wasn't really in appropriate attire. I asked if there was time for me to run home but they had been playing for quite some time already. I ran over to the field and found one of my bigger students and asked him for his jersey. He agreed, I ran behind a building, changed and ran onto the soccer field. It was really neat because the students were cheering as I walked onto the field. I thought, "Man I hope I don't look like an idiot." I chose a half-back position and was ready to go. Luckily, the teachers were pretty good and kept the ball near the students' goal for the most part. There were two times when the ball came my way. Both were knocked into the air and the first one I bashed with my head and managed to accidentally (I mean purposefully) pass it to another teacher. The second I stopped with my chest and it rolled (once again on purpose) to another teacher. The students cheered when they saw what little contribution I had made to the game and it filled my head with thoughts of glory. All of sudden the whistle blew and the teachers turned around, gave me high fives and we started walking back. Apparently I had missed 90% of the game. I thought it was better to have to mediocre moments than to have multiple awful moments.
After all the excitement everyone went home tired and happy. It really makes me happy to see my students having fun. As I have mentioned before, they spend a majority of their life studying and it's really good to see them able to be kids. I might have ranted about that before, but it always makes me happy when I see them having fun.
I think next year (assuming we resign) I will make my own custom jersey that with the name "Maximus". When I slowly walk out onto that dirt field, my students will cheer "Maximus, Maximus, Maximus!" I'll fight lions, slay other people violently and play soccer like a freaking champ. Dreams of glory dance in my head...
One last important note for those who want just a little bit more:
As we walked back to the stands one of the teachers said, "Senorita?" and after a second of confusion I realized what he was talking about. I accidentally asked the one student who had custom Hangul that spelled out "Senorita" (you know, woman in Spanish) for his jersey. His school nickname is "Senorita" for some reason. That means that I played the few minutes of that game wearing a jersey that labeled me a girl in Spanish. Good job, Maximus.
So the day after my humiliating defeat by a toy machine, we decided to go out with everybody and go see Robin Hood. It turns out that every other foreigner in Pyeongtaek showed up in the same exact movie theater at the same exact time. It was really weird that despite our best efforts to include everyone who might want to go, we still ran into a multitude of foreigners. There really isn't much to that story other than the fact that we ran into other foreigners.
Around this time I started to notice my eye was hurting whenever I would blink. It didn't feel like anything was in it; it just felt like I had a bruise for some reason. When we got home from the movie I looked in the mirror and sure enough my eye was swollen. I had and still have no idea what happened. I'm guessing that it was because of the dust from China and the fact that I almost always wore my contacts. Obviously I stopped wearing them for a while but it was just really strange because I was unable to blink for a few days without it hurting. I decided to wait a day or two and then go see the doctor. It cleared up within a couple of days but it was just really weird to me. I only bring it up to document that at some point my eye started acting strange and then magically fixed itself.
Now if you'll follow me, we will travel back in time to Thursday 5/13/10. I forgot to mention this very important day thanks to the fact that my notebook is a little out of order (way to go, notebook):
It was a normal day for me. I got up, got dressed and headed out to work. As I walked towards my building, I looked over at our soccer field and was greeted by this sight:
I thought, "Holy crap! They've finally rallied to try to kill me!" as any reasonable foreigner would. After calculating how many high school students I could possibly take, I suddenly remembered that today was Sports Day. I breathed a sigh of relief and ran inside the office to drop off my laptop. I had heard of other teachers having something called "Sports Day" before but I never really grasped how big of a deal it is in Korea. Sports Day is the one day of the entire year where everybody (teachers and students alike) can just relax and play sports together. They even go so far as to have each class pick out team colors and order personalized jerseys for every student. When I arrived, the opening ceremonies were just beginning. I stood next to Ms. Kim and started taking pictures.
All three of these pictures are group shots of all of my students. They divided the school up by grades so the left were my first graders followed by the second and then third graders.One of the teachers came up to the podium they set up and started making some sort of announcement. Ms. Kim leaned over and explained that they were going to sing the Korean national anthem before they began. They had one of my first graders come up to the front stage and conduct while all the other students were singing. He seemed really embarrassed but be did a good job and shortly after, he ran back into line. The principle then stepped up to the podium and apparently gave out some sort of award (I have no idea what it was for):
After that began the stretching led by one of the teachers with a really loud whistle.
So after stretching everybody headed to the bleachers to watch the first graders play the starting game of soccer. They already had all the qualifying matches before and these two teams were competing to be top of their grade. As I was looking for a seat, a couple of students asked me to sit with them and even offered a board for me to sit on instead of sitting on the grass or concrete. I thought it was really nice of them so I took them up on their offer. The student sitting next to me would frequently comment on what team was better, what country their colors were, etc. "This team, garbage team. Other team better." I think I'm going to have to use that expression. "Yeah, well you're a garbage teacher!" I don't know how you could recover from a blow like that. Anyway, the game started and within the first ten seconds one of the teams scored. I remember certain kids being into watching sports in high school but they are nothing compared to these students. Everybody, and I mean everybody, would stand up and cheer as loud as possible. High school in America had a lot of students who were "too cool" to cheer. In Korea, it's cool to cheer and cheer loudly.
They also had drums and symbols that were constantly being played along with people who were cheering. Some of my favorite cheerleaders were the designated flag bearers. The second everyone sat down they would start fighting with the flags. When they saw a teacher looking at them they would immediately go back to waving the flag:
At one point they decided to create a super mascot and try to put everything on one person. Needless to say, it didn't work out very well but it sure was funny to watch.
It was at that point that I noticed that not every student had their name in Hangul. Some had personalized names in English. I started taking pictures of all the really funny ones. I'll start with this one for the moment and move onto the better ones later:
Here is a video of them cheering (during the second half). You will notice that they don't say "fighting" but instead say "hwaiting" because there is no "f" in the Korean alphabet. I thought it was amusing.So during the second half of the game I switched sides so I could talk to other groups of students. I also decided to try to take team pictures. I was about to take a group shot of one team when the homeroom teacher wanted to jump in so I managed to get him and his team in the shot (the homeroom teacher is a fantastic guy who has a music studio above the English Zone and he even gave me a key to use it because he learned I play guitar. He said he wants to jam sometime and I thought that was one of the coolest things ever).
After the soccer game I waited and said, "Good job," to the players. They started changing their shoes for some reason and I noticed something really funny. My guy students had really really girly socks. In fact, one sock said this:
You probably can't read that very well but it actually says, "I am pretty girl." Yes, that is being worn by a guy. Apparently it's really common for guys to wear socks with teddy bears or cute little frogs on it. I guess it's just a thing here. I know that you would be laughed out of school if any guy tried to wear socks like that in my high school.So after the soccer game I went over and watched more students play badminton and ping pong:
Sports Day has everything: soccer, badminton, ping pong, tug of war, jump rope and another weird game.
Remember those weird jerseys that I mentioned earlier? Well here are the ones I thought were most interesting. Before I post them I want to apologize for making my blog PG-13 (only one is allowed in PG-13 movies) but I thought it was so funny that they allowed this shirt to be made. I'll let you figure out what shirt I'm talking about:
The kids clearly knew what that meant because whenever he was losing he would point to the back of his shirt. I know that there are teachers that speak English here and I just wonder how something like that just managed to slip through.
Apparently one of my students is an electromagnetic pulse while the other is a member of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The letters with the heart turned out to be his girlfriends initials. Awwwwwww. That particular student will frequently doodle his initials and her initials with a heart in between them. I also asked him if he was a "mack daddy" and after some explaining he said, "No! Teacher! Only one girlfriend! That's what I want." Needless to say, I really like that student.
So after all these sports the kids started practicing for the team jump rope competition. They would all stand in a line and have to jump together and see how many consecutive jumps they could make. It was really funny when one student would mess up and the entire team would yell at them because they wanted to win so desperately.
Of course there were many students who just couldn't hold the urge to cheer in:
It was getting to be lunch time right about then so we all took a break and had Lotte burgers (tasty) and lots of Pocari Sweat (Powerade in Korea). I decided it was a good time to go around taking pictures.
I have even more but I realized that I've already uploaded a ridiculous amount of pictures so far. So as the day wore on we continued with more sports including a five person foot race:
They also did a big tug of war match later on
I really like all the students cheering on the side. They were like that for every single game.
Finally came the last sport of the day. I have no idea what it is called nor do I know what it is for. It seems ultra dangerous and just plain weird. Enjoy!
"Hey guys, you know what would be fun?"
"What?"
"If we ran on each others' backs."
"Yeah! Awesome!"
You'll notice the girl wearing the giraffe horns. A lot of the kids dressed up in make up and hats. This picture, however, is my favorite:
Who knew that the Joker was afraid of harmful UV rays?When Sports Day was nearing the end I had to run into the English Zone to oversee some workers fixing the computer screen and all of the students monitors. For some reason we couldn't get the program up and running so we had to have specialists come in and fix them. They conveniently came during the teacher soccer match so I had an excuse to leave and not participate. I hadn't played soccer since I was in elementary school and I was little more than nervous playing in front of the entire school with my fellow teachers. After a little while of them fixing the computers another teacher came in a spoke to Ms. Kim (who was with me to translate). Apparently he was looking for me to participate in the soccer game. I thought, "Oh crap," and they asked me if I wanted to play soccer. I faltered a little saying I was no good but in the end I conceded and agreed to go play. I was wearing a button up and jeans so I wasn't really in appropriate attire. I asked if there was time for me to run home but they had been playing for quite some time already. I ran over to the field and found one of my bigger students and asked him for his jersey. He agreed, I ran behind a building, changed and ran onto the soccer field. It was really neat because the students were cheering as I walked onto the field. I thought, "Man I hope I don't look like an idiot." I chose a half-back position and was ready to go. Luckily, the teachers were pretty good and kept the ball near the students' goal for the most part. There were two times when the ball came my way. Both were knocked into the air and the first one I bashed with my head and managed to accidentally (I mean purposefully) pass it to another teacher. The second I stopped with my chest and it rolled (once again on purpose) to another teacher. The students cheered when they saw what little contribution I had made to the game and it filled my head with thoughts of glory. All of sudden the whistle blew and the teachers turned around, gave me high fives and we started walking back. Apparently I had missed 90% of the game. I thought it was better to have to mediocre moments than to have multiple awful moments.
After all the excitement everyone went home tired and happy. It really makes me happy to see my students having fun. As I have mentioned before, they spend a majority of their life studying and it's really good to see them able to be kids. I might have ranted about that before, but it always makes me happy when I see them having fun.
I think next year (assuming we resign) I will make my own custom jersey that with the name "Maximus". When I slowly walk out onto that dirt field, my students will cheer "Maximus, Maximus, Maximus!" I'll fight lions, slay other people violently and play soccer like a freaking champ. Dreams of glory dance in my head...
One last important note for those who want just a little bit more:
As we walked back to the stands one of the teachers said, "Senorita?" and after a second of confusion I realized what he was talking about. I accidentally asked the one student who had custom Hangul that spelled out "Senorita" (you know, woman in Spanish) for his jersey. His school nickname is "Senorita" for some reason. That means that I played the few minutes of that game wearing a jersey that labeled me a girl in Spanish. Good job, Maximus.
I hate you, Peach! AKA Why I Should Never Be Allowed Into a Casino
Josh:
Let's continue where I left off but with a brand new state of mind, shall we?
Over the next couple of weeks not much happened (or at least not much that I remember). I'm sure I had tons of adventures but I wasn't smart enough to take notes in my notebook like I have done for so many other stories. Oops. The next entry in my book is on a Saturday (5/15/10) so I will just start there:
Have you ever felt that teachers need a holiday? I don't know about anyone else, but I never really gave it a thought. I understand mother and father's day but giving a day for a specific job is kind of unfair. Teachers are very important, of course, but what about doctor's day or construction worker's day? All of these jobs are essential to create a properly functioning society. Yes, teachers do have to deal with crazy kids and their parents but doctors have to deal with difficult patients also and construction workers have to deal with work hazards on a daily basis .
(I really hate to use doctors and construction workers as examples because it seems so cliche but I also feel that if I don't use them and search for a random job then I will be seen as "trying to be random" and come off as annoying. Ah, the dangers of writing).
In Korea, teachers have a holiday (as you might have guessed from my rant above). There are quite a few more certain people specific holidays in Korea such as Teachers' Day or Children's Day.
(One last side note: When I first heard that there was a Children's Day in Korea I thought, "Man, that is so unfair. I always wanted a Children's Day in America!" Then I thought about it and learned more. Quite frankly, I'm glad I grew up in a country that doesn't need a Children's Day. Think about it.)
Anyway, that Saturday (5/15/10) was Teachers' Day in Korea. I had heard about it before and I was fairly excited until I realized it doesn't really matter because I don't work on Saturdays. It turns out that you don't get the day off even if you do work on Saturday. What do you get on Teachers' Day then? Flowers. Don't get me wrong, it would be really nice to get flowers of appreciative students but in a stressed out society, wouldn't a day off be a little bit more effective? They used to get presents but due to the obvious issue of bribery they changed it to only flowers. I was hoping to at least get a note or something when I came back to my desk on Monday but I came back to an empty desk. Not a single flower; not even one picked out of the garden of the school! I then shed a single manly tear and went on with my day.
Back to the day; no more tangents (for now). Audrey and I decided it would be good to explore AK Plaza (we never really looked around up to until that day). We found out that it was huge. There were tons of department stores filled with overpriced goodies. We even found a bookstore. We decided to look around for any English books and ended up finding the Ponyo soundtrack (which we snatched up) along with a few other little gifts and ideas for the families back home.
Just as we were about to leave I saw a row of quarter machines so, being the five-year-old that I am, I decided to look at them. All of them were garbage (big surprise) except for one that had these Mario action figure type things. I thought, "Yeah, that would be cool to get a little Mario, Goomba or Bowser. Maybe I'll try it out." There were only about six or seven different characters and I thought it would be cool to collect a few to decorate my desk with. As I said, there was one or two Marios, a stack of little monsters, Bowser, Princess Toadstool and another random girl in a blue dress. I looked at the price: 2000 Won. I thought, "A little steep, but I could at least get one or two Marios maybe." I got change for my cash and went over to the machine like a kid who just received his allowance from his mommy. I put in my first 2000 Won and turned the crank. I felt like I was reliving my childhood. There was a serious lack of cool quarter machines back in the US so here I was getting a really awesome prize from a quarter machine in Korea. I finished turning the crank and I heard the ball drop. I opened the door and grabbed my prize. I turned it in my hand to see none other than Princess Toadstool, AKA Peach AKA the one prize that I didn't want. I thought, "Aw, man. Well I'll just do another and hopefully get Mario." For some reason I really really wanted a Mario figure. I put in the next 2000 Won and turned the crank once more. My prize dropped and I pulled it out. Peach was staring at me through her plastic ball prison once again. You can imagine that I started getting a little frustrated at this point. "Alright! One more. I'm bound to get Mario now. The odds are in my favor." I put another 2000 Won into the machine and turned the crank once more. The ball fell, I opened the door and saw a different color other than pink! Finally! I turned the ball over to look inside and it was the random girl in a blue dress. She was the only other prize that I didn't want. I almost put my fist through the machine. I had just dumped 6000 Won into this machine and out of the seven different prizes I only received the ones I didn't want. Of course these machines were near the children's section of the bookstore so I couldn't react at all lest I become the 23 year old who broke down in front Korean children due to a quarter machine. Audrey was standing next to me and watching my disappointment grow after each turn.
"Okay, time to go, Josh."
"Wait, wait. I mean, what are the odds? I'm bound to get Mario now!"
"No."
"Just one more."
"No."
At that point I yell, "YOU HATE ME!" and run off with my arms flailing at my side. Or in reality,
"Okay." *frowny face*
"Don't give me that look."
"But...but...Mario..."
We then start to walk away and I take one last look at my hopes and dreams. "Goodbye, Mario," I whisper into the wind.
After I stuff my crappy prizes in the backpack we decide to continue our exploration. Since were already on the top floor (or so we thought) we decided to take the elevator down. Intelligently enough, we stepped into an elevator that took us up for some reason. We thought, "It'll be one floor then we can take it down." When the doors opened up we saw a entire garden overlooking the city.
We both jumped out of the elevator and started to explore. We had no idea that there was a little park type place on the top of AK Plaza. We were really happy with our find and started a video tour.
As you can tell, at the end of it we ran into some of my students and their friends. We started talking and hanging out with them. We also took a few pictures:
Audrey was cold so one of my students gave her his jacket. I decided I would try it on and the resulting picture makes me look like an absolute maniac. I was generous enough to post it though, because I know everyone would want to see it.
So we sat and talked for a little bit. I took out my three disappointments and gave them to my students because I wasn't sure what I was going to do with all the Peaches (I also found out at that point that the girl in the blue dress was a different version of Peach - GAH!) The girls seemed to enjoy them and the guys thought they were neat. In a little bit one of the students said, "Shim-shim." Luckily Audrey knew what that meant. "You're bored? I know what that means! Hah!" They vehemently denied it but we decided it would be good to head out and find more entertaining grounds. Even though it was Teachers' Day we decided to take the kids to an arcade and have some fun. I ran downstairs and got some cash ("Oh! Teacher rich!") and met up with Audrey and the girls at the arcade. I played some air hockey (finally got beat after years and years of a perfect record) and passed out coins like it was going out of style. I had trouble having them accept the coins because they didn't want to seem rude by taking too much money. I was really happy that they were all raised right so I forced the money on them and made them play House of the Dead with me. We played for a little while but eventually it got too hot and we left the arcade.
It was beginning to become late and one of the girls had to start heading home so we went down to the train station. I ran into a few more of my students (and one mother) plus a couple other English teachers that we knew. I was surprised that we kept running into so many people. Normally it's pretty rare to see anyone we know, much less a whole bunch of students and other English teachers. One of my students had to head home so we said goodbye and we started to wait for the girl's train. It was going to be about an hour and some change before it arrived at the station so we decided to quickly grab some dinner. We took them to the Korean restaurant that we like, quickly ordered and ate as fast as possible. One thing that I noticed was that my students were looking at me when the food arrived. I then realized what it was. In Korea, it's rude to eat first unless you are the oldest. They were waiting for the eldest to take a bite first. It took me a minute to get it but after I realized it I shoved some food into my mouth and they started eating. Once again, I was really happy to see high school students being so polite. After a quick meal, the girls headed out and only two of my students were left.
We took them to the place where Audrey kept winning prizes because of her shooting skills and the students were really impressed. We eventually decided it was too late for them and finally parted ways with my students. It was really good to get to see them outside of class and start to know them a little better as people. Overall, they seem like great kids to me and I am still impressed at their courtesy and manners.
After the kids left, I suggested where to go next,
"Hey, so, maybe we should go back to the bookstore in AK Plaza. Maybe we missed a really good English book there, you know?"
"No you cannot try to get a Mario."
"But come on! Look at the odds!"
After realizing that AK Plaza was already closed, we decided to call it a night and head home.
The next day...
We found ourselves hanging out with friends in AK Plaza. I took the opportunity to sneak away and ran up to the bookstore. I confronted my enemy one last time. I had a handful of change from the arcade last night and I was ready to use it. I popped in my first 2000 and turned the crank. I was determined to get my Mario! You can probably guess what happened. Yet another Peach came out.
No! This wasn't fair! The odds are even higher now! Come on, Mario! I threw down another 2000 Won. PEACH!
Why are you punishing me? I didn't do anything! It has to be different now. Another 2000 Won appeared in the machine. Blue! NO! BLUE PEACH!
It couldn't be. This had to be a joke. The Mario was just on top, waiting for me, calling to me:
"Justa one morea, Joshua."
"Yes! One more!"
I threw in another 2000 Won. It had to be Mario this time. SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY, I GOT ANOTHER PEACH!
For those of you keeping track, I am now up to SEVEN Peaches!
For some reason my mind said, "Dude, Josh. Think of the odds. How many Peaches do you really think are in there? Come on!" to which I replied, "You're right! One more!"
The crank turned and the ball dropped. I knew this was the moment. I reached inside. It's Mario. I know it. My mind clearly wasn't thinking because when I turned it around it was yet another Peach.
Eight. I'm now up to eight freaking Peaches. I knew that if I didn't do it again, some little punk would come along and steal my Mario! After all the work I did wading through Peaches, this kid was going to steal my Mario. Not if I had anything to say about it! I threw in another 2000 Won.
...
I almost lit the store on fire at this point because low and behold, I HAD ANOTHER PEACH!
I had tried this machine nine times and every single time I received the one character I didn't want. I didn't even care if I got Mario anymore. I just wanted something other than Peach! I reached into my pocket once more, pulled out my frog and found him to be surprisingly light.
No! This can't be! I opened the frog and found him to be completely empty save for a few 10 Won pieces. I desperately reached into my other pocket and pulled out my wallet. I had to have cash somewhere! I opened it up and a little butterfly flew out laughing, nay, taunting me in all of my broke misery.
After considering mugging some kids for some Won, I stuffed all six Peaches into various pockets (I must have looked like I had some really bad tumors) and walked back to Audrey and my friends with my head hung low.
"Hey, how did it go?"
"I GOT SIX MORE FREAKING PEACHES!"
"Oh. Well, that's what happens when you gamble."
*holding back tears with my head hung low* "I just wanted a Mario for my desk..."
"I know. I know." *pat pat*
I guess Meg felt bad for me because Audrey and her then went to the bookstore when I wasn't around and dropped another 2000 Won on that machine. Guess what they got? That's right. Peach. If it counts I really really appreciate the gesture and was really touched by the fact that they would waste their money on a stupid obsession of mine.
Meg: "I'm going to get a Mario one day and then I'm going to show it to you and say, 'How much is he worth to you? Do you really want him?'"
I said I would resist, but at that point I would probably have given my left arm for a Mario. Please keep in mind that I am left handed.
For those of you keeping track at home, we dropped a total of 20,000 Won on the quarter machine. For those who remember the conversion rate, that is roughly $20.
If any of you thought that I couldn't sink any lower, I just want to let you know that I still try to trick Audrey into going into the bookstore with me so I can try again. I always get a resounding,
"No."
Let's continue where I left off but with a brand new state of mind, shall we?
Over the next couple of weeks not much happened (or at least not much that I remember). I'm sure I had tons of adventures but I wasn't smart enough to take notes in my notebook like I have done for so many other stories. Oops. The next entry in my book is on a Saturday (5/15/10) so I will just start there:
Have you ever felt that teachers need a holiday? I don't know about anyone else, but I never really gave it a thought. I understand mother and father's day but giving a day for a specific job is kind of unfair. Teachers are very important, of course, but what about doctor's day or construction worker's day? All of these jobs are essential to create a properly functioning society. Yes, teachers do have to deal with crazy kids and their parents but doctors have to deal with difficult patients also and construction workers have to deal with work hazards on a daily basis .
(I really hate to use doctors and construction workers as examples because it seems so cliche but I also feel that if I don't use them and search for a random job then I will be seen as "trying to be random" and come off as annoying. Ah, the dangers of writing).
In Korea, teachers have a holiday (as you might have guessed from my rant above). There are quite a few more certain people specific holidays in Korea such as Teachers' Day or Children's Day.
(One last side note: When I first heard that there was a Children's Day in Korea I thought, "Man, that is so unfair. I always wanted a Children's Day in America!" Then I thought about it and learned more. Quite frankly, I'm glad I grew up in a country that doesn't need a Children's Day. Think about it.)
Anyway, that Saturday (5/15/10) was Teachers' Day in Korea. I had heard about it before and I was fairly excited until I realized it doesn't really matter because I don't work on Saturdays. It turns out that you don't get the day off even if you do work on Saturday. What do you get on Teachers' Day then? Flowers. Don't get me wrong, it would be really nice to get flowers of appreciative students but in a stressed out society, wouldn't a day off be a little bit more effective? They used to get presents but due to the obvious issue of bribery they changed it to only flowers. I was hoping to at least get a note or something when I came back to my desk on Monday but I came back to an empty desk. Not a single flower; not even one picked out of the garden of the school! I then shed a single manly tear and went on with my day.
Back to the day; no more tangents (for now). Audrey and I decided it would be good to explore AK Plaza (we never really looked around up to until that day). We found out that it was huge. There were tons of department stores filled with overpriced goodies. We even found a bookstore. We decided to look around for any English books and ended up finding the Ponyo soundtrack (which we snatched up) along with a few other little gifts and ideas for the families back home.
Just as we were about to leave I saw a row of quarter machines so, being the five-year-old that I am, I decided to look at them. All of them were garbage (big surprise) except for one that had these Mario action figure type things. I thought, "Yeah, that would be cool to get a little Mario, Goomba or Bowser. Maybe I'll try it out." There were only about six or seven different characters and I thought it would be cool to collect a few to decorate my desk with. As I said, there was one or two Marios, a stack of little monsters, Bowser, Princess Toadstool and another random girl in a blue dress. I looked at the price: 2000 Won. I thought, "A little steep, but I could at least get one or two Marios maybe." I got change for my cash and went over to the machine like a kid who just received his allowance from his mommy. I put in my first 2000 Won and turned the crank. I felt like I was reliving my childhood. There was a serious lack of cool quarter machines back in the US so here I was getting a really awesome prize from a quarter machine in Korea. I finished turning the crank and I heard the ball drop. I opened the door and grabbed my prize. I turned it in my hand to see none other than Princess Toadstool, AKA Peach AKA the one prize that I didn't want. I thought, "Aw, man. Well I'll just do another and hopefully get Mario." For some reason I really really wanted a Mario figure. I put in the next 2000 Won and turned the crank once more. My prize dropped and I pulled it out. Peach was staring at me through her plastic ball prison once again. You can imagine that I started getting a little frustrated at this point. "Alright! One more. I'm bound to get Mario now. The odds are in my favor." I put another 2000 Won into the machine and turned the crank once more. The ball fell, I opened the door and saw a different color other than pink! Finally! I turned the ball over to look inside and it was the random girl in a blue dress. She was the only other prize that I didn't want. I almost put my fist through the machine. I had just dumped 6000 Won into this machine and out of the seven different prizes I only received the ones I didn't want. Of course these machines were near the children's section of the bookstore so I couldn't react at all lest I become the 23 year old who broke down in front Korean children due to a quarter machine. Audrey was standing next to me and watching my disappointment grow after each turn.
"Okay, time to go, Josh."
"Wait, wait. I mean, what are the odds? I'm bound to get Mario now!"
"No."
"Just one more."
"No."
At that point I yell, "YOU HATE ME!" and run off with my arms flailing at my side. Or in reality,
"Okay." *frowny face*
"Don't give me that look."
"But...but...Mario..."
We then start to walk away and I take one last look at my hopes and dreams. "Goodbye, Mario," I whisper into the wind.
After I stuff my crappy prizes in the backpack we decide to continue our exploration. Since were already on the top floor (or so we thought) we decided to take the elevator down. Intelligently enough, we stepped into an elevator that took us up for some reason. We thought, "It'll be one floor then we can take it down." When the doors opened up we saw a entire garden overlooking the city.
We both jumped out of the elevator and started to explore. We had no idea that there was a little park type place on the top of AK Plaza. We were really happy with our find and started a video tour.
As you can tell, at the end of it we ran into some of my students and their friends. We started talking and hanging out with them. We also took a few pictures:
Audrey was cold so one of my students gave her his jacket. I decided I would try it on and the resulting picture makes me look like an absolute maniac. I was generous enough to post it though, because I know everyone would want to see it.
So we sat and talked for a little bit. I took out my three disappointments and gave them to my students because I wasn't sure what I was going to do with all the Peaches (I also found out at that point that the girl in the blue dress was a different version of Peach - GAH!) The girls seemed to enjoy them and the guys thought they were neat. In a little bit one of the students said, "Shim-shim." Luckily Audrey knew what that meant. "You're bored? I know what that means! Hah!" They vehemently denied it but we decided it would be good to head out and find more entertaining grounds. Even though it was Teachers' Day we decided to take the kids to an arcade and have some fun. I ran downstairs and got some cash ("Oh! Teacher rich!") and met up with Audrey and the girls at the arcade. I played some air hockey (finally got beat after years and years of a perfect record) and passed out coins like it was going out of style. I had trouble having them accept the coins because they didn't want to seem rude by taking too much money. I was really happy that they were all raised right so I forced the money on them and made them play House of the Dead with me. We played for a little while but eventually it got too hot and we left the arcade.
It was beginning to become late and one of the girls had to start heading home so we went down to the train station. I ran into a few more of my students (and one mother) plus a couple other English teachers that we knew. I was surprised that we kept running into so many people. Normally it's pretty rare to see anyone we know, much less a whole bunch of students and other English teachers. One of my students had to head home so we said goodbye and we started to wait for the girl's train. It was going to be about an hour and some change before it arrived at the station so we decided to quickly grab some dinner. We took them to the Korean restaurant that we like, quickly ordered and ate as fast as possible. One thing that I noticed was that my students were looking at me when the food arrived. I then realized what it was. In Korea, it's rude to eat first unless you are the oldest. They were waiting for the eldest to take a bite first. It took me a minute to get it but after I realized it I shoved some food into my mouth and they started eating. Once again, I was really happy to see high school students being so polite. After a quick meal, the girls headed out and only two of my students were left.
We took them to the place where Audrey kept winning prizes because of her shooting skills and the students were really impressed. We eventually decided it was too late for them and finally parted ways with my students. It was really good to get to see them outside of class and start to know them a little better as people. Overall, they seem like great kids to me and I am still impressed at their courtesy and manners.
After the kids left, I suggested where to go next,
"Hey, so, maybe we should go back to the bookstore in AK Plaza. Maybe we missed a really good English book there, you know?"
"No you cannot try to get a Mario."
"But come on! Look at the odds!"
After realizing that AK Plaza was already closed, we decided to call it a night and head home.
The next day...
We found ourselves hanging out with friends in AK Plaza. I took the opportunity to sneak away and ran up to the bookstore. I confronted my enemy one last time. I had a handful of change from the arcade last night and I was ready to use it. I popped in my first 2000 and turned the crank. I was determined to get my Mario! You can probably guess what happened. Yet another Peach came out.
No! This wasn't fair! The odds are even higher now! Come on, Mario! I threw down another 2000 Won. PEACH!
Why are you punishing me? I didn't do anything! It has to be different now. Another 2000 Won appeared in the machine. Blue! NO! BLUE PEACH!
It couldn't be. This had to be a joke. The Mario was just on top, waiting for me, calling to me:
"Justa one morea, Joshua."
"Yes! One more!"
I threw in another 2000 Won. It had to be Mario this time. SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY, I GOT ANOTHER PEACH!
For those of you keeping track, I am now up to SEVEN Peaches!
For some reason my mind said, "Dude, Josh. Think of the odds. How many Peaches do you really think are in there? Come on!" to which I replied, "You're right! One more!"
The crank turned and the ball dropped. I knew this was the moment. I reached inside. It's Mario. I know it. My mind clearly wasn't thinking because when I turned it around it was yet another Peach.
Eight. I'm now up to eight freaking Peaches. I knew that if I didn't do it again, some little punk would come along and steal my Mario! After all the work I did wading through Peaches, this kid was going to steal my Mario. Not if I had anything to say about it! I threw in another 2000 Won.
...
I almost lit the store on fire at this point because low and behold, I HAD ANOTHER PEACH!
I had tried this machine nine times and every single time I received the one character I didn't want. I didn't even care if I got Mario anymore. I just wanted something other than Peach! I reached into my pocket once more, pulled out my frog and found him to be surprisingly light.
No! This can't be! I opened the frog and found him to be completely empty save for a few 10 Won pieces. I desperately reached into my other pocket and pulled out my wallet. I had to have cash somewhere! I opened it up and a little butterfly flew out laughing, nay, taunting me in all of my broke misery.
After considering mugging some kids for some Won, I stuffed all six Peaches into various pockets (I must have looked like I had some really bad tumors) and walked back to Audrey and my friends with my head hung low.
"Hey, how did it go?"
"I GOT SIX MORE FREAKING PEACHES!"
"Oh. Well, that's what happens when you gamble."
*holding back tears with my head hung low* "I just wanted a Mario for my desk..."
"I know. I know." *pat pat*
I guess Meg felt bad for me because Audrey and her then went to the bookstore when I wasn't around and dropped another 2000 Won on that machine. Guess what they got? That's right. Peach. If it counts I really really appreciate the gesture and was really touched by the fact that they would waste their money on a stupid obsession of mine.
Meg: "I'm going to get a Mario one day and then I'm going to show it to you and say, 'How much is he worth to you? Do you really want him?'"
I said I would resist, but at that point I would probably have given my left arm for a Mario. Please keep in mind that I am left handed.
For those of you keeping track at home, we dropped a total of 20,000 Won on the quarter machine. For those who remember the conversion rate, that is roughly $20.
If any of you thought that I couldn't sink any lower, I just want to let you know that I still try to trick Audrey into going into the bookstore with me so I can try again. I always get a resounding,
"No."
Hey, buddy, you mind giving me just a little...no? Oh, okay
Josh:
Personal space is a bit of an issue here in Korea. One finds that out very quickly when walking down the streets and multiple people ram into you without even blinking. I knew about this before I came because we researched as much about Korea as we could but it still is really strange to have to deal with it on a day-to-day basis. Audrey, unfortunately, had to deal with the worst story about personal space (or lack there-of):
We were going over to Seoul (for some reason; once again, score one for my memory) and, of course, the plan was to take the train. There was a line this time (it must have been rush hour) so we jumped in and waited patiently just like everyone else. Other people started getting in line behind us and normally this would have been perfectly acceptable. The only problem was the older man (probably 50 or so) stood directly behind Audrey. It's hard to convey how close he was. If Audrey and the old man were represented by the letter "i", "ii" is a pretty close representation of how close this guy was to her. It's not like there was any need for it because there was plenty of room behind him. He just decided that he needed to be one centimeter away from her. It was to the point where Audrey could smell and feel his breath; needless to say, she wasn't happy. I moved forward a little bit to give her some room. She stepped forward and the old man, not missing a beat, took a step right after and ended up in the same position as before. I then asked Audrey if she wanted to trade because maybe touching his nose to a sweaty foreigner's back would change his mind about personal proximity. She refused, unfortunately. Whenever the line would move up slightly, this guy was right on top of it (almost to be taken literally). It was utterly ridiculous. Audrey decided that if he was going to be that close, he might as well serve a purpose so she started leaning backwards and having him support her weight. He didn't really even flinch, much to our dismay. When we finally reached the front of the line Audrey jumped forward and she finally escaped the clutches of a creepy old man. We bought our tickets and got out of that area.
Why would someone feel the need to stay so close to someone? Unfortunately, I already know the answer to that. It turns out that if you aren't "thisclose" to someone in line, people assume you aren't in line at all and tend to cut. At that point you can attempt communication (which often fails) and tell them that you were clearly there first even if your nose wasn't in the back of the other person's hair or you can let the 60 year old crazy woman have her way. Just like the lines on the road, lines inside buildings are more like guidelines. Frequently I have to break my personal space issues and move right behind another person because someone decided not to wait behind me, but instead beside me. These line vultures are everywhere and it gives me great personal satisfaction whenever I manage to foil them by putting my giant foreign shoulder in front of their face to show that, "Yes, I was waiting in line."
On a more chronologically focused path, the weather started changing since you last saw a date (around the beginning of May). It started to get a little warmer and Audrey wasn't dying every time we went outside. My taste buds were starting to get more accustomed to the super spicy food here. I know that because I had noodles that were labeled as "spicy" to Koreans. I felt like my face was on fire but I still managed to eat it all (pat on the back to me). Audrey says that's a bad thing because I am not actually being tough and getting accustomed to the spicy food but actually killing the sensitivity in my taste buds. Way to ruin my manliness with science, Audrey! I suppose it is pretty manly to say you burned off your taste buds though; I'm back in the game! I digress.
As I reread this post I realize that my blog tends to shift tones so rapidly it probably makes my readers feel bipolar (and its author seem so as well). I didn't mean for it to get so somber because the post started out fairly funny (or I like to think so at least). I apologize for the 180 turn but I figured I would give you a heads up so it's not as sudden of a change as it could be.
The Tuesday following the all out brawl by our landlady's granddaughters I learned some rather sobering news. It was a normal day and I was talking to Ms. Kim when she mentioned that something had been changed in the schedule. I asked why and she said it was because a third grader killed himself on Monday. Keep in mind that I had gone through half of the day without the slightest hint that anything was askew. Apparently he had a big fight with his parents and he jumped off the top of his apartment building. I don't know many more details than that (such as his name, what class he was in, etc) but needless to say it was a bit crazy. I knew that this part of the world had a higher suicide rate but it's different to experience it first hand. Of course, I never taught this kid and, most likely, never really even had the chance to meet him. I felt bad for Ms. Kim because I believe he was one of her students. I really don't have much to say about it because I don't know much about it. The reason why I mention it is because it gives me a weird feeling to have taught in a school where one of the students I potentially talked to decided that nothing was worth living for and jumped off of the top of a building. It gives me pause to wonder about what you would think about as you see the ground flying toward you at an alarming rate. Did he regret the decision half way down and wish that he hadn't been so hasty? I really can't think about it too much because just the idea of a boy wishing he hadn't made a stupid decision with all his might but to no avail is too much for me.
I hate to end a post on that story but I really have no where to go from here.
Personal space is a bit of an issue here in Korea. One finds that out very quickly when walking down the streets and multiple people ram into you without even blinking. I knew about this before I came because we researched as much about Korea as we could but it still is really strange to have to deal with it on a day-to-day basis. Audrey, unfortunately, had to deal with the worst story about personal space (or lack there-of):
We were going over to Seoul (for some reason; once again, score one for my memory) and, of course, the plan was to take the train. There was a line this time (it must have been rush hour) so we jumped in and waited patiently just like everyone else. Other people started getting in line behind us and normally this would have been perfectly acceptable. The only problem was the older man (probably 50 or so) stood directly behind Audrey. It's hard to convey how close he was. If Audrey and the old man were represented by the letter "i", "ii" is a pretty close representation of how close this guy was to her. It's not like there was any need for it because there was plenty of room behind him. He just decided that he needed to be one centimeter away from her. It was to the point where Audrey could smell and feel his breath; needless to say, she wasn't happy. I moved forward a little bit to give her some room. She stepped forward and the old man, not missing a beat, took a step right after and ended up in the same position as before. I then asked Audrey if she wanted to trade because maybe touching his nose to a sweaty foreigner's back would change his mind about personal proximity. She refused, unfortunately. Whenever the line would move up slightly, this guy was right on top of it (almost to be taken literally). It was utterly ridiculous. Audrey decided that if he was going to be that close, he might as well serve a purpose so she started leaning backwards and having him support her weight. He didn't really even flinch, much to our dismay. When we finally reached the front of the line Audrey jumped forward and she finally escaped the clutches of a creepy old man. We bought our tickets and got out of that area.
Why would someone feel the need to stay so close to someone? Unfortunately, I already know the answer to that. It turns out that if you aren't "thisclose" to someone in line, people assume you aren't in line at all and tend to cut. At that point you can attempt communication (which often fails) and tell them that you were clearly there first even if your nose wasn't in the back of the other person's hair or you can let the 60 year old crazy woman have her way. Just like the lines on the road, lines inside buildings are more like guidelines. Frequently I have to break my personal space issues and move right behind another person because someone decided not to wait behind me, but instead beside me. These line vultures are everywhere and it gives me great personal satisfaction whenever I manage to foil them by putting my giant foreign shoulder in front of their face to show that, "Yes, I was waiting in line."
On a more chronologically focused path, the weather started changing since you last saw a date (around the beginning of May). It started to get a little warmer and Audrey wasn't dying every time we went outside. My taste buds were starting to get more accustomed to the super spicy food here. I know that because I had noodles that were labeled as "spicy" to Koreans. I felt like my face was on fire but I still managed to eat it all (pat on the back to me). Audrey says that's a bad thing because I am not actually being tough and getting accustomed to the spicy food but actually killing the sensitivity in my taste buds. Way to ruin my manliness with science, Audrey! I suppose it is pretty manly to say you burned off your taste buds though; I'm back in the game! I digress.
As I reread this post I realize that my blog tends to shift tones so rapidly it probably makes my readers feel bipolar (and its author seem so as well). I didn't mean for it to get so somber because the post started out fairly funny (or I like to think so at least). I apologize for the 180 turn but I figured I would give you a heads up so it's not as sudden of a change as it could be.
The Tuesday following the all out brawl by our landlady's granddaughters I learned some rather sobering news. It was a normal day and I was talking to Ms. Kim when she mentioned that something had been changed in the schedule. I asked why and she said it was because a third grader killed himself on Monday. Keep in mind that I had gone through half of the day without the slightest hint that anything was askew. Apparently he had a big fight with his parents and he jumped off the top of his apartment building. I don't know many more details than that (such as his name, what class he was in, etc) but needless to say it was a bit crazy. I knew that this part of the world had a higher suicide rate but it's different to experience it first hand. Of course, I never taught this kid and, most likely, never really even had the chance to meet him. I felt bad for Ms. Kim because I believe he was one of her students. I really don't have much to say about it because I don't know much about it. The reason why I mention it is because it gives me a weird feeling to have taught in a school where one of the students I potentially talked to decided that nothing was worth living for and jumped off of the top of a building. It gives me pause to wonder about what you would think about as you see the ground flying toward you at an alarming rate. Did he regret the decision half way down and wish that he hadn't been so hasty? I really can't think about it too much because just the idea of a boy wishing he hadn't made a stupid decision with all his might but to no avail is too much for me.
I hate to end a post on that story but I really have no where to go from here.
Friday, July 2, 2010
It's hard to be the cool teacher when you flail like a little girl
Josh:
I have this bad habit of having my entire body spasm in a vain attempt to swat it away whenever something flies near me . Imagine you are walking down the road and then something big and dark flies at your face so your body says, "KILL IT! SWEET JESUS, KILL IT!" and does a sort of special-ed-dance-swat-thing and completely misses what turns out to be a fly. You realize that it was a fly, push your hair back to the side and look around to see multiple Koreans staring at you, asking with their eyes, "What the hell just happened?" What's the best option at this point? For some reason your mind then says, "STRUT! Strut and then say 'Wud up?' to the 70 year old woman like she actually understands you and everything will be better!" So you obey your mind for some reason and proceed to try to walk like a peacock and give the head nod "What up" to the old lady and continue on your merry way.
Unfortunately, that would be awesome if that wasn't a fairly common occurrence with me. I can't help it. Ever since I was young I have always had an innate fear of bees and wasps. When I got here, I saw that the bees and wasps were about five times as big as the ones back in America and that only compounded the problem. What if I'm actually allergic to bee stings? I'm allergic to everything else in the world, would it really be that far of a stretch to imagine that I'm allergic to POISON? I've talked to other teachers about this problem and they say they do the same thing. I had one teacher tell me that a bee managed to get into her room so she ran into a corner and hid with all of her kids around her. One of her students then said, "Teacher! You're bigger! Kill it!" to which she replied, "SHUT UP! It'll hear you!" and then offered the child to her new dark master, the mighty bee.
As the title suggests, it's really hard to be cool when you act like a little baby when a fly comes by (and you think it's some sort of demon wasp out for you unborn children). I feel that I'm pretty good at being "the cool teacher":
I taught my kids all variations of the phrase, "What's up?" and I frequently use it when I see them
When asked what I like to do I said, "Oh, I play the guitar." (brush my hair back and flex at this point) to which the students say, "Oooh! WOW!"
Then they ask, "Teacher! Favorite sport?" to which I slyly reply, "Oh, I like to box. You know, kickboxing." and the chorus responds, "TEACHER! SCARY! WOW!" and I push the envelope more saying as I stretch a little, "Yeah, I also like to do MMA style fighting. I used to want to do it, but now I just teach." and of course, "WOW TEACHER!"
"Teacher! Favorite music?" and of course I say, "Metal, baby! *horns thrown up* And I also dabble in some gangsta rap."
"Teacher rapper? Teacher rapper?"
"Yeah, I'm kind of a thing in California."
Imagine all of the cool points I have with these kids now. I even killed a massive spider in front of them without even flinching and the kids said, "Oooh tough guy!"
Now, if you will, picture your students surrounding you as you head home when the evil fly/bee hybrid flies past your head and you act like you just got hit with a jolt of electricity. Then you hear a sound. What could it be? It's the sound of all your cool points drifting off into the void as your students stare at you with mouths wide open. So what does your mind tell you to do this time?
Scream "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" and run home.
Just thought I'd let you know...
I have this bad habit of having my entire body spasm in a vain attempt to swat it away whenever something flies near me . Imagine you are walking down the road and then something big and dark flies at your face so your body says, "KILL IT! SWEET JESUS, KILL IT!" and does a sort of special-ed-dance-swat-thing and completely misses what turns out to be a fly. You realize that it was a fly, push your hair back to the side and look around to see multiple Koreans staring at you, asking with their eyes, "What the hell just happened?" What's the best option at this point? For some reason your mind then says, "STRUT! Strut and then say 'Wud up?' to the 70 year old woman like she actually understands you and everything will be better!" So you obey your mind for some reason and proceed to try to walk like a peacock and give the head nod "What up" to the old lady and continue on your merry way.
Unfortunately, that would be awesome if that wasn't a fairly common occurrence with me. I can't help it. Ever since I was young I have always had an innate fear of bees and wasps. When I got here, I saw that the bees and wasps were about five times as big as the ones back in America and that only compounded the problem. What if I'm actually allergic to bee stings? I'm allergic to everything else in the world, would it really be that far of a stretch to imagine that I'm allergic to POISON? I've talked to other teachers about this problem and they say they do the same thing. I had one teacher tell me that a bee managed to get into her room so she ran into a corner and hid with all of her kids around her. One of her students then said, "Teacher! You're bigger! Kill it!" to which she replied, "SHUT UP! It'll hear you!" and then offered the child to her new dark master, the mighty bee.
As the title suggests, it's really hard to be cool when you act like a little baby when a fly comes by (and you think it's some sort of demon wasp out for you unborn children). I feel that I'm pretty good at being "the cool teacher":
I taught my kids all variations of the phrase, "What's up?" and I frequently use it when I see them
When asked what I like to do I said, "Oh, I play the guitar." (brush my hair back and flex at this point) to which the students say, "Oooh! WOW!"
Then they ask, "Teacher! Favorite sport?" to which I slyly reply, "Oh, I like to box. You know, kickboxing." and the chorus responds, "TEACHER! SCARY! WOW!" and I push the envelope more saying as I stretch a little, "Yeah, I also like to do MMA style fighting. I used to want to do it, but now I just teach." and of course, "WOW TEACHER!"
"Teacher! Favorite music?" and of course I say, "Metal, baby! *horns thrown up* And I also dabble in some gangsta rap."
"Teacher rapper? Teacher rapper?"
"Yeah, I'm kind of a thing in California."
Imagine all of the cool points I have with these kids now. I even killed a massive spider in front of them without even flinching and the kids said, "Oooh tough guy!"
Now, if you will, picture your students surrounding you as you head home when the evil fly/bee hybrid flies past your head and you act like you just got hit with a jolt of electricity. Then you hear a sound. What could it be? It's the sound of all your cool points drifting off into the void as your students stare at you with mouths wide open. So what does your mind tell you to do this time?
Scream "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" and run home.
Just thought I'd let you know...
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