Only two? Nay!

Josh:

I noticed that I only did two updates this month and I thought that seemed a little sad so I said, "I will make it three on the last day!" Basically I'm cheating so it looks like I write more than I actually do. You sly devil, you.

Let's keep trying to catch up. It seems I have fallen behind by almost exactly two months. Not much happened after the lovely picnic with Mr. Chu until Wednesday (4/28/10). My school had no teaching that day for some reason (I don't remember, Mid terms maybe?) so the English teachers decided it would be good to go out together. I thought this was a great idea and they even invited Audrey along. They also extended the invitation to Mr. Chu. It was going to be really fun and we were looking forward to hanging out. The day before (or the day of) we learned that Mr. Chu would be unable to go and then I learned that Audrey wouldn't be able to go because of that. Why? Because we had five people already and that filled up one car. Needless to say that caused a little bit of a stir. They asked, "Is that okay?" I had to beat around the bush and say that it happens but it would have been nice to get a warning or, even better, not invite Audrey and get our hopes up unless you know there is room. Another unfortunate event happened when Mr. Chu heard that Audrey couldn't go and then said something like, "So they only invited me to give a ride?" Audrey didn't know what to say and I, of course, didn't know what to say when I heard that because it made me feel really bad. I believe that my co-teachers didn't mean for that to happen or for it to seem that way but that's how it came off. The bright side was that Audrey's school was going out for dinner also so she went out with her teachers and I went out with mine. In the end it worked out but I really wish that we didn't have to go through the discomfort of worrying about who got invited and why.

After the dust settled and Wednesday came, we loaded up into Mr. Hong's car and headed out on that lovely rainy day. On the way over we talked about various things but the thing that sticks out in my head most is when Mr. Hong asked everyone what the top ten exports of California were. Apparently he had looked up the list and was trying to get everyone to guess. I had a slight edge so when the ladies were completely stumped I took a guess and usually within three or four tries I got it. It was very strange, but fun. This conversation conveniently leads into where we were going: an agriculture place. I don't remember what it was called (I have the brochure so I'll have to dig it out sometime) but it basically was a couple of buildings as museums and fields of flowers. We stepped inside the first building and it was a greenhouse filled with a multitude of flowers, trees and sculptures. (Remember you can click on an image to enlarge it)








































































The last two are pictures of me and the other English teachers. The picture on the left has (from left to right) Ms. Kim, Ms. Kim, Me and Mr. Hong. The right picture has Ms. Han, Ms. Kim, Me and Ms. Kim. The two teachers that I co-teach with are Ms. Han and the Ms. Kim on the far right in the right picture. I'm very lucky (as I said before) because all of them are really nice.


THE TURTLE IS DISPLEASED WITH YOU!















And, of course, all great agriculture museums have giant giraffes made out of grass in the parking lot.












For those of you who don't like pictures, here is a short video:



So after we explored the greenhouse we continued to a small hut that was full of metal sculptures. They took old garbage and made it into all sorts of random objects. It was really impressive. I don't have good pictures so here is another short video. My two favorites are the mini-helicopter made out of a rice cooker and the giant helicopter.



Anyone notice how odd the word "sculptor" is? I've never even thought about it before.

After that we moved onto a museum with old farming tools, pictures, paintings, etc. I didn't really take any pictures but I did take a few videos. I'll have to post those later or on another web site because they are much bigger. One is eight minutes. I figured everyone back home wanted to experience a Korean museum so I took some videos. I actually don't know if it was okay for me to record it but no one was around so I did. I'm such a rebel. And I have no cause, ladies.

After a bit of time in the museum we moved onto another building that seemed to be preparing for some sort of festival or show. We didn't really stay too long because we pretty much had seen everything in a few minutes.

After that we decided to head out and I took a few more pictures of the flower fields as we departed.

We all started to get pretty hungry so we headed over to AK Plaza (the train station/mall) and we went to a Chinese restaurant. They ordered some sort of "meal set" and they brought out giant plates that everyone was supposed to take a piece of and eat. Some of it I liked, some of it I wasn't a fan of, but overall it was filling. They kept bringing more and more food and I asked, "Is this the last dish yet?" Of course the reply I received was, "Nope. Two more." Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and Mr. Hong brought up the idea of seeing a movie so we headed upstairs to see what was playing. The only English movies were rated R and I thought it might be a little awkward to watch Kick-Ass with my co-teachers but (luckily) they decided on Hurt Locker. I enjoyed it enough, but because it was based off of American soldiers and it was a dialogue heavy movie, I don't think any of them really enjoyed it that much. There was a lot of swearing unfortunately and I felt a little awkward sitting next to my co-workers. When we got out I asked if anyone liked it and I got the same response from everyone, "Uh, it was long." We decided to part ways after. Everyone had a good time (I think) and they seemed to want to have another "English Teacher's Day".

After I got home, I called Audrey and she was still busy playing pool with her co-teachers so I decided to explore Pyeongtaek a little more. I ended up walking to Lotte Mart (the store with the hedgehogs) so I picked up some groceries and headed home. I mention Lotte Mart because it took me half an hour to walk to and we had never been there except by jumping on a bus and taking a taxi home. It was good to start a mental map of the town just in case we need to get anywhere. I know a lot more of the layout now but back then I was excited that I was starting to learn some landmarks and what stores are in what direction (for those of you who know me, I'm not the strongest at memorizing directions so this is an accomplishment).

And with that, I give you three entries for June!

What ryhmes with Schmore Mupdates?

Josh:

More updates!

Remember how I talked about Korea's election? I forgot to mention how different the campaigning is over here. In America we have commercials, debates, pamphlets, etc. The only advertising I got to experience here (partially due to my lack of Korean skills) were giant posters plastered on the side of buildings and little buses/cars. Why is that worth mentioning? Good question. The little bus things all had speakers attached to the top and the sides (many also came with giant monitors on the inside [it opened on the side similar to a truck that holds cargo]). Throughout the entire day they would park at one spot and blast K-Pop with terrible voice-over/singing advertising the candidate. This by itself would be annoying enough (considering they start bright and early in the morning and drive through our neighborhood) but someone decided that wasn't enough. Most of these buses also came with a dancing troupe. There would be about 5-7 ladies (I don't think I saw any men) wearing a neon-green and bright orange shirt with a white hat and white gloves. While the bus would blast really annoying (AKA ridiculously catchy) K-Pop they would have a small dance that was usually about one minute long. Now if you can imagine being stuck on a corner (for whatever reason - red light, waiting for someone, etc.) and on the other corner is a bus with crazy looking people dancing to some kind of weird techno, you will get a small idea of what the weeks before election time were like. I can't even imagine being one of those poor ladies who were stuck dancing on the corner to the same song for hours on end in the ever growing heat. I wonder if they were paid or if they were volunteers because no matter how much I would want a candidate to win, I would never volunteer for that kind of punishment. I would also see a man in a suit with a banner around his shoulder with a number on it (read further below) waving to people as his slaves danced behind him. Can you imagine if an American tried to campaign with a Pop song with a terrible voice over saying the person's name at random parts? Whose idea was it to campaign like that, who thought it was good enough and how did it become popular enough to become a regular thing?
Because I am really lame and I kept forgetting to take the camera with me wherever I went for almost a month straight, I have no videos or pictures of these wonders. Hopefully next time there is an election (who knows when) I will be able to capture the glory.
One more rant about the election. The candidates are numbered. As far as I could tell there were about eight or nine. This seems like a really bad idea. Who do you think usually wins? That would be number one or two (according to my source). I wonder if they draw for the numbers at the beginning of the election. The guy who pulls number eight would say, "Well I lost. That sucks."
Enough of elections!

A brief refresher: It's now Sunday.
Phew. Now that that's over with, let's continue. We had agreed earlier in the week to go on a trip with Mr. Chu (Audrey's co-teacher). He was nice enough to offer us a ride and take us out on a little adventure (just a little walking because Audrey's knee was still hurt). He took us to Admiral Yi Sun Sin's memorial. It was basically a big park with various little buildings around such as small museums and his house. The park was beautiful and I really enjoyed going out and seeing some of the sites Korea has to offer. I'm a tourist at heart, unfortunately. I love going to places with museums or some sort of historical significance that everyone goes to when they vacation in the country. I'm a big ol' nerd that way. Someday you will see me with a big blue Hawaiian shirt wearing a sun hat, sun glasses and a camera strapped around my neck. I'm all about it.
We walked around for quite some time, took lots of pictures and even got a few videos. We also got to explore the museum with all the artifacts from Admiral Yi's time. There was a miniature of his famous "Turtle boat", various tools they used (of course) and some really neat paintings depicting his life. Of course, we weren't allowed to photograph anything in the museum so you will have to just use your imagination (we later received a pamphlet that has pictures of all the things we saw so I don't really understand the point of the no picture thing). We also explored his house a little. It turns out that I would not really function too well back in the day because I would be too busy hitting my head on all the doorways. Oh well.
After walking around, we decided to head back to the car and start our little picnic. As we headed to the parking lot I noticed tons of little stalls for souvenirs. The tourist in me jumped out and I said, "I want a little statue!" so Audrey and I headed over in search of cool things to buy. I ended up finding a little statue (awesome) and Audrey ended up finding a hat. Of course, because we are five, we had to grab some Slurpee type drinks with our hat and statue.
Audrey really liked her hat.

So we sat down and had a fantastic picnic. We ate PB&J sandwiches, kimbap, a peach and various drinks. It was very relaxing and we got to talk to Mr. Chu for some time. Audrey was wearing her hat the whole time and a bee decided that it wanted to set up camp on it. For the last part of the lunch there was a bee just sitting on Audrey's hat. Eventually he left, but it took a little coaxing. Overall, it was a fantastic day. I love being able to get out and see what beauty this country has to offer. We also took a detour through an older village on the way back home. I don't know if I've mentioned this before but every time we go somewhere (driving, by train, anything) my face is constantly glued to the window. I love looking at the trees, rice fields and scenery. There will be little shouts of, "Oh! Look!" every now and then as we are waiting to get to our destination. I mention this because on the way back, it was absolutely beautiful. After being stuck in a city like San Francisco for so long (and still living in a gray city), one begins to yearn for the smaller city with trees all around. I am really looking forward to when I don't have to get small glimpses of trees every now and then. I want them all the time.

The bee on Audrey's hat reminds me of something I've been meaning to rant about. The bugs here are huge. The wasps (and some bees) are gigantic here. It seems like they could impale you on their stingers (maybe some exaggeration, but close enough). During one of my classes I had my students jump up and say, "Teacher! *Korean*" I walked over and there was the biggest spider I had ever seen in my entire life. Instead of screaming like a little girl (proud of myself) I managed to crush it and impress my students (score). I had one of my students sweep it up and we put it outside for the birds. I wish I had taken a picture of it because it seems like something like that would be a trophy kill. I'm not going to lie, as I'm typing this out I'm checking my desk for spiders. I guess the overall point I'm trying to make here is that the bugs here are scary giants. No bueno.

Well I think a small post will be good for today. Pictures and other happiness will come later.
-Josh

The thing that every blog user says

Josh:
Despite saying there would be more updates now that I have the internet at home, I have neglected my poor blog and readers. Hopefully I can fix that. I realize the internet is full of broken promises and dreams when it comes to blogs, but not mine! I will rise above the stereotype of writing ten entries and then leaving the blog behind! Maybe.

As I reread that paragraph I realize that it sounds like a speech one would make for a campaign which transitions perfectly into my next topic: elections.

Korea just had a big "election" (that was actually going to be the title of this post but I changed it). I put "election" in quotes not because I am trying to demean the election in any way (it was actually a very big and important election) but because the child in me can't help but giggle about the way it was said. Just in case you didn't know, one of the letters that Koreans have trouble with is "L". Instead of making an "L" sound, they tend to make an "R" sound. So if you can imagine an older gentleman saying that Korea is going to have a big "election" (but change the letter), I think all of us would have a little trouble trying to hold in our "tee-hee"s. I was having trouble not laughing to myself with that thought in mind as I typed out "it was actually a very big and important election". Korea had a huge election. Sorry. I'm done. Forgive my immature humor but I can have a few moments, can't I? Also, everyone else we have told this to started laughing too so I take a little comfort in that. Welcome back to our blog!
It really was a mind blowing and gargantuan election.
...
I'm done! I'm done! (tee hee)

When you last joined us, we had just left off at the fantastic weekend that was the flower festival. It was obviously very late by the time we got to bed. At 9AM I wake up to Audrey poking me saying, "I think someone's shouting our names outside." I am still half asleep but I listen and I can hear a voice that is shouting something that sounds like our names. I drag myself out of bed and open the window to find that indeed someone was outside shouting our names. It turns out it was one of my co-teachers with another man and a van waiting. "We've come to take you to my church!" Needless to say, I was rather surprised. I threw on pants and shoes and ran downstairs looking fresh as a rose (my hair tends to look like an anime character's when I first get up) and met them outside:

"So...uh...[as I groggily try to create sentences]...what's up? [one eye still closed]"
"Oh you aren't ready."
"What? You didn't tell me."
"We have come to take you to our church. This is my pastor."
"Oh! Uh..hi! Nice to meet you. Look, uh, I don't think we can make it today."
"Did we surprise you?"
"Yeah, just a little."
"Okay, we'll maybe next time."
"Yeah, sorry. It was nice to meet you. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay, bye!"

I appreciate them coming to my house and offering a ride. It was actually a very nice gesture but I was not functioning at that (excuse the ironic statement) ungodly hour. Also keep in mind that I had no warning that this was going to happen. I didn't even get a heads up as to when church started. As I said, I truly appreciate his efforts to include me in Korea but I found this to be a little more than amusing. I went inside, explained to Audrey and we tried to go back to sleep but, alas, after such excitement, we were unable to fall back asleep. We pulled ourselves out of bed and got ready for the day (even if it was unwilling).
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. We decided to go out with the group again and we watched Clash of the Titans in the theater near our house. The movie wasn't that good but we learned that in Korea you get to pick out your seat when you buy the ticket. I think that's kind of neat because then you don't have to show up one hour early just to not get stuck craning your neck at an awkward angle. We have never really used them though because the theater is always empty enough for us to not even bother looking for our seats, but the thought is there. The tickets are also only 8,000 won which is significantly cheaper than any movie theater tickets in the America. Because of that, we have already seen a fair amount of American movies that are released in our theater. It's nice to be able to go to the movies without paying out the nose.

On a quick side note, I have been very happy with my students. I can honestly say I haven't had any trouble with any of them (knock wood, of course). The only "problem" was a very shy girl that wouldn't speak. That only lasted a few weeks and now she will speak without any prodding. My students are supposed to be the "rebels" (those who didn't study as hard, a terrible sin indeed) but all of them are fantastic kids. Yes, many do start to nod off during my lessons, but I don't blame them at all. If you had to get up at 5:20AM every morning (including Saturday) and go to school from 6AM until 9PM (with about two to three hours break in between for meals) you would fall asleep also. Honestly, I fell asleep in a few of my classes in high school and I only went to school from 8AM-2:40PM. To fault them for being human would be hypocritical of me. What about talking during class? For the most part, they don't do it. If they do, it's minimal and I can be louder than them any day. I had a moment of true appreciation for them when I became really sick (this was very recent) and I was having trouble talking. I could barely speak at all, much less speak at a loud enough volume to fill a room. At the beginning of class I said, "Hey guys, I'm obviously sick so I can't really speak loudly today, so if you guys can just keep it down a little today that would be awesome." After a little translating by my co-teachers, anytime after that if there was anyone talking while I was speaking I would have half of the class turn around and yell at them, "Quiet!" or "Shut up!" I couldn't help but smile to myself. Many of them also have such large personalities. When I have practical speaking lessons many of them will try to make a funny skit out of the dialogue given to them (which is pretty hard considering it's ordering food, airports, etc). Their humor is fairly good and I really enjoy listening to them each time we practice. I'll end my fawning over my students with one last story. During Sports Day (more on that later) one of my students ended up tripping and losing the game for the rest of his class. When they came back and sat next to me I could tell he felt bad. The other students started teasing him for it (as far as I could tell) and it looked like he was about to cry. I felt so bad and as I was about to say something, one student put his hand on his back and patted it and said something (most likely comforting) and then all the other students joined in and clapped for him. His face changed completely around and he was okay again. You'll have to excuse the "heartwarming tale" but it really made me happy to see kids realize when too far was too far and even fixing it after. I really am proud of all of them.

That tangent about my students was actually suppose to go somewhere else, so you'll have to forgive another paragraph about my students. Originally it was intended for me to share how crazy they are when it comes to games but instead it turned into a hug fest. Who wants that right? We signed up for comedy, baby! And comedy you shall have. I spent one week (before midterms) playing English games with my students because I didn't want them to be too stressed out about their tests and have to worry about learning extra English lessons. I played a game where they create sentences with words and, if correct, they get points or the opportunity to take away all of the other team's points. Let me tell you, they love screwing over the other teams. Whenever that chance would come up, the entire team would jump up to their feet and yell victoriously. The other teams would then start negotiating with them in an attempt to have them not take away all their points. I literally had kids doing formal bows to the other teams (where they get on their knees from a standing position and bow with their heads to the floor) in an attempt to appease them to not take away their points. By the way, there was no prize. The prize was just saying you won and yet they were threatening each other with death if they took away their points. I heard curse words, threats, supplications, bargains and alliances all thrown across the room. At the end of the game the students who won would jump up in the air (because nobody was sitting by the end of the game of course) and cheer loudly. Two seconds later I would hear, "Teacher! Again! One more!" This would never, ever, ever happen in America. I had every single student (in most classes) absolutely enthralled by the game. It was almost as if their life depended on winning. I have seen this behavior in everything involving competition. They absolutely love it and get really into it. It's really funny to see. I did manage to get a video of an entire class when I played the game (so it's 50 minutes long so prepare for a marathon). I'll post it sometime in the near future, but let me say that the class I recorded was unquestionably the calmest class I had. They might have been scared by the camera (who knows?) but imagine that class multiplied by five and you will get a sampling of the other classes.

After that small(ish) side note, I move back to the time line I first started. That week was fairly uneventfully until Wednesday when I was told I get to record my voice with another native teacher. I was told a couple days before so I said "Yes" and (of course) I forgot about it. I had my co-teachers reminding me and I rushed over to the recording studio (in my school, which is awesome) and met the other teacher. She had been here for several years and was very nice. She explained that we were recording dialogue for the audio test that is played over the loud speakers on certain days. Oddly enough, my school just had one of these tests and I was laughing to myself how bad the dialogue was and how unnatural it sounded. It was payback time for those that I laughed at, I suppose. I was told that we had to say everything very slow and over articulate every word in an attempt to make it easier for the kids to understand (which explained a lot of things). We ran over a few of the dialogues, they pointed out where I needed to slow down and we were ready to begin recording. They also gave me one more detail which spiced up the recording session even more: we had to record everything in one shot. That meant that we had to read (slowly, mind you) a ten page paper for the first time and not mess up otherwise we would have to start all over. So we recorded up to about page three and the guy at the mixer board stopped us and we stepped outside to (painfully) listen to ourselves speak. It turns out that the Korean teacher who was reading the questions wasn't articulating enough (ironic right?) so we had to start all over. At this point we both said, "Can't you just pause and record where we left off?" The lady who was reading the Korean spoke to the mixer board operator and said, "No, sorry." At that point both of us looked at each other with looks that said, "How does that make any sense?" It doesn't! It makes zero sense! So we sat back down and messed up one more time until we finally got through the entire thing (not too bad considering I had never read any of it before). Near the end I was starting to repeat, "Don't mess up, don't mess up," to myself because I didn't want to be the guy that made us start all over when we got to page nine out of ten. The other native English speaker had an even worse time because she had a cold and was trying not to cough and still have a clear throat the entire time. It was pointlessly difficult but we still survived. We listened to a sampling of it and I thought, "Great. My robotic voice is going to played over the loudspeakers at some middle school (maybe even my wife's) and the native teacher will laugh at me just as I did." Well, I hope the native teacher then has to record his or her voice and realize that it's not that easy. We all must be humbled in some way, I suppose. I'm waiting for the day when I meet a teacher that says, "Your voice sounds awfully familiar..."

The rest of the week passed by fairly uneventful. On Saturday we went to an all you can eat and met some other foreigners (more people to add to our ever growing group). You pick your meat from a salad bar line up and then you grill it yourself (strange right?). I happened to pick up the last two hamburger patties and greedily ate those while everyone else had tons of beef that wasn't ground up (who wants that, right?). Overall, a fairly fun night.

The next day will require a bit more space so I will start a new entry for that. For now I will leave you with some pictures that I found to be quite amusing. (Note: You can click on any of the pictures to open them in a new window [making them bigger] if you want to experience the full detail and beauty of these shots.)
This was a shirt one of the students at my school was wearing. I honestly had no idea what it was talking about so I took a picture. He seemed to be proud of it.
Yes, they just created their own verb. You'll also notice all the people are white and the girl looks like she had her face pasted on. Hmmm...
The other is a picture from a card advertising a bidet. Yup. They had a line of bidets and due to Mike's love of them, we decided to take a picture of one and ended up finding the enema bidet (AKA the Holy Grail of bidets). "Why would they have a picture of it?" you might say and I say, "Don't ask questions."
I think my favorite part is the line that tells me to be white. Oh boy...

Did you think I was done being immature? Well you were wrong!

Tee-hee.

-Josh