Before I begin my post, many people might not understand our blog title. We thought it was very appropriate for many reasons as you will find out from watching this video:
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/86679/may-10-2007/he-s-singin--in-korean
The rest of the videos are equally entertaining and I highly recommend watching them all.
Sorry about the lateness of this blog update. I suggest you get some coffee and some snacks because this post is going to be long. Please forgive me if I seem to rant but I want to put down as many details as I can remember for both myself and the readers back home. Please also note that I am in a PC room so I am unable to upload pictures for now. I hope you enjoy.
Skipping the long months of prep work for Korea, I will start out with the airport. It went very smoothly as we had the help of all of Audrey's family. We checked our bags and then exchanged our dollars for won (Korean currency). We have never had hundreds of thousands of any type of bill so even though it wasn't that much, it was still neat to see that much cash. We said farewell to Audrey's family and went through security without a hitch (oddly enough, I'll let Audrey tell that story). When we got to our platform we waiting for several hours (luckily they flew by in the excitement) and people started lining up to get on the plane. They board first and business class first so all the coach passengers started forming a giant line. Audrey and I decided to wait to see if it dies down shortly. Luckily after first class was finished, they opened up the second line and Audrey and I jumped into it and we bypassed the giant line.After we sat down, we were finally able to relax. I excitedly watched as the plane started to take off (this is the first time in my adult life I have been on a plane). Shortly after we both fell asleep. We had stayed up all night the previous night so we would be able to sleep through the long flight. We awoke to the sound of people arguing in front of us. Apparently the passenger in front of me was arguing with a stewardess about how to fill out the immigration card she was passing out (it was very simple). Luckily she was not willing to deal with him and she said, "Just fill it out," and he replied, "I want to speak to another person." Without missing a beat she said something along the lines of "No one would want to deal with you," and came to us and gave us our card with a smile. Surprisingly the food was actually very good. We had a delicious chicken curry for our first meal and then had noodles the other meals. I've heard rumors of airplane food being terrible but I rather enjoyed it. After we kept falling asleep and waking up we finally managed to stay awake for more than an hour and we managed to make a friend with the person sitting to our right. He was a Korean traveler named Yon who apparently has been travelling all over Canada and the United States for years. He seemed like a great guy and we talked the rest of the plane ride with him. It was a very long ride, but luckily it didn't feel terribly long (although we were in a bit of pain from being cramped for so long).
It was very fortunate that we managed to make a Korean friend on the airplane because he made the Incheon airport go significantly smoother. He told exactly where we needed to go, explained we didn't need to worry about the "health check" and then took us to the shortest immigration line. He even waited for us after he got through (the Korean citizen line was much shorter). He then took us down to baggage claim and got a cart for all six of our bags. Our bags somehow came first and we loaded up the cart and he said, "Are you going to wait for me?" We laughed and replied, "Of course!" He was very nice and so helpful to us. After we grabbed our bags we walked a few feet and saw a man holding a sign with our names on it. We were told his name was Mr. Kim (note: In Korea, Mr. Kim is equivalent to Mr. Smith. Imagine you were told by your job that Mr. Smith was going to pick you up. Strange, isn't it?). He shook our hands and introduced himself calling me Mr. Audrey and Audrey Ms. Joshua. Yon said something in Korean to him (my guess is correcting this name mistake but he made it again later). We said "goodbye" to Yon and loaded up and got into Mr. Kim's car.
It was freezing outside. We were wearing a decent amount of clothes but we were not ready for such a temperature difference. It was so cold that we could see our breath in the car until Mr. Kim managed to warm it up. As we drove off, my face was almost glued to the window. I was trying to see as much of Korea as I possibly could. It wasn't like what I was expecting at all. There was actually a lot of empty space (brown dirt all over), some trees without leaves and several buildings under construction. It was still neat to see, but I was not expecting it in the least. After a few minutes we pulled into a gas station. Something interesting is that the gas attendants pump your gas for you. Mr. Kim drove up to a spot and a young Korean teen ran up to the window, took his card and ran to pump his gas. I looked around and all the workers were running everywhere. Right off the airplane I am greeted with good ol' fashioned work ethic. In Korea, no matter what your job, you are going to be the best whatever it is you are in the world. This is the kind of mind set I wish the United States had. We drove off and I continued to gaze at all of the country side. Audrey and I kept trying to read the signs with what little Korean reading skills we had. I have never been able to speak another language and it was very exciting to be able to guess what the letters meant and seeing the name written below confirming what I thought it was. I hope to master this language very soon. Unquestionably, my favorite part of the car ride happened when someone tried to merge on top of us. Mr. Kim didn't slam on his brakes but instead gently tapped his horn once, lifted his finger and waved his finger back and forth while "tsking" the other driver. Why can't everyone drive like this? Keep in mind that I only want people to react to bad situations like Mr. Kim did, not drive like Koreans. This car ride was my first experience with a Korean driver behind the wheel. I felt very safe with him driving even though he would accelerate towards the back of a car to try to cut in front of another car before the gap closed. Sometimes it was a little scary, but I believe the excitement of actually being in Korea blocked that feeling out. Less than an hour later we met up with Audrey's co-teacher, Ryan. We unloaded our car and Ryan showed us our apartment.
Thanks to Audrey's school and Ryan we were able to have an actual apartment rather than something called a "Love motel" as temporary housing. The apartment is a thin kitchen, a single room, a bathroom and a thin laundry area. Needless to say it is cozy for two people but we are thankful to be in an apartment. There is no heater but instead the floors have pipes running through them. When you want to turn the "heat" up, you push a button and hot water flows through these pipes which then warms the floor. It's a very good idea but it causes a little bit of worry because all of our things on the floor become rather toasty. There is also no dryer. You have to hang dry all of your clothes. The space in the laundry room only allows for one load to be done but I am thankful to even have a washer (thank you San Francisco). Another interesting thing is that there is no separate "tub" for the shower. The shower head just hangs on the wall and there is a drain in the middle of the bathroom. One has to be careful taking a shower not to get the entire bathroom wet. So far I am not a fan of this idea but it may grow on me eventually. There is a little spot in front of the kitchen to take off your shoes (Korean tradition) and in the corner there is a very nice desk with a pretty big wardrobe. Our bed is actually a couple of thick blankets that we roll up during the day and put out when we are ready to sleep. This is very strange to me and sometimes my hip bone digs into the floor but so far, it's not terribly uncomfortable.
After unloading at the house, Ryan took us over to Audrey's school. It is less than a five minute walk from our house (not for long though) so it works out well for Audrey. He showed us around the school and it is very nice. The school was built in 2007 so it still looks very new and modern. There are even little boxes that say something in English when the students walk by. Ryan took us into the teacher's room and we sat and talked for a little bit. Audrey and I were fairly hungry but luckily Ryan was nice enough to order us Chinese food. I ordered "spicy" noodles and Audrey ordered a combination plate of rice and noodles. These noodles were more than just spicy; they were burny. Luckily I love spicy so I rather enjoyed them. Ryan also ordered us a special welcoming plate covered with fish, tentacles and other lovely assortments. He also purchased a very strong alcohol and offered it to me. In Korea, it is traditional to drink with your co-workers and it is impolite to refuse drinks. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am an absolute wuss when it comes to alcohol but I accepted his offer and took a sip. This alcohol was 100 proof. Needless to say, I was trying my hardest not to make a face (unfortunately they saw it and laughed). One more thing about Koreans and food is that they don't drink anything normally with their meals. So here I was with this intensely spicy dish, burning alcohol and no water or beverage of any kind. It was very interesting to say the least. As I ate more of my soup I noticed something came up in my soup. It was a tentacle about two inches long. I told myself before I came to Korea I was going to try things so I decided to dive head first into my first day in Korea. I shoved the giant tentacle into my mouth and started chewing. Surprisingly, not that bad. I don't know if I'm a fan of the texture (it was very rubbery) but the flavor was mild and not too bad. I might try it again later. This is a big deal for me because many of you back home know how picky of an eater I am. I was very proud of myself. After dinner, we left, Ryan took us to a store where we bought essentials such as towels (note: It seems that most Koreans use hand towels to dry themselves instead of full size towels. Imagine us trying to dry ourselves with a tiny little rectangle of a towel. We ended up using some of my under shirts that I wasn't wearing.) and an alarm clock. We headed home and passed out.
Day 1 (Monday): We both woke up before the alarm clock, yet we still managed to run a little late. Audrey was going to start her first day while I was going to just wander around our town. Remembering the no beverage thing, Audrey asked me to grab her some water so I ran down to a little corner market to buy her some water before work. I was in a bit of a rush so I think I got ripped off in my first transaction. Korean won converts roughly 1000W to $1. The water was 800 won each so I grabbed two bottles and went to the register. Another thing to know is that they changed the appearance of their 1000W bill to be smaller but at the airport I received the slightly bigger 1000W bills. When I tried to pay with two of them, she shook her head and said something in Korean. I don't remember exactly what I did but I believe I grabbed a 10,000W bill and handed it to her. She gave me 400W in change. It didn't even cross my mind and I dashed out of there trying to get to the school. I only noticed that I might have purchased $10 water. Oh well. If that did happen, I learned my lesson and it hasn't happened since. When I reached her school I saw many students just stare at me as I walked by. It was very funny to me to be such a wonder. I dropped off the water and went out to explore the city. It is very strange to be in a place where you don't know the language at all and you can barely read anything. It's sort of surreal and fun at the same time. I recommend everyone does this at least once in their life. Luckily some of the signs on the buildings had English translations below so I wasn't completely lost. I wandered around for a few hours and decided it be good to draw a map (for some reason). So I purchased a pen and pad of paper and started drawing a very rough map (maybe I'll post a picture of it later). I saw so many strange things right out of my door. I saw buildings with huge tanks in front of it with an assortment of fish. One place had a lobster that had to be more than two feet long! It was intense. There were also eels, flatfish, giant fish, cuttlefish and crabs all in these various tanks. It's really crazy to see all these fish waiting to get sold and eaten. It also seems that Koreans love chicken and beer as I saw a multitude of buildings featuring a cartoon chicken holding a beer. There is also a "Family Mart" on nearly every corner (this is that corner store that I "got ripped off in"). I believe this chain to be a type of 7/11 mixed with Walgreens (open 24 hours). I find myself smiling as I am typing this because I honestly love it here so far. This is so exciting and new to me. I digress. There is also something on every corner that I believe should be on every corner in the US: Crane machines! I haven't tried any yet because we are saving money but I can't wait to blow money on these awesome machines. There are basic crane machines and also this weird machine with mini hedge clippers where you try to cut the string holding the prize. I haven't tried this yet either but I am looking forward to it. I also saw a few older Korean men giving me little glares here and there. It might have just been their face, but I could have sworn they were glaring at me. I can now say I have been glared at for being a foreigner. Oddly enough, I find that exciting. I started to get hungry so I decided to find a restaurant that had English or at least pictures I could point at. And what was the place I first walked into? That's right, I went into a burger joint. It had pictures and some English below the Korean letters. My guess is this place is a fairly common food chain in Korea (maybe McDonalds status?) and I can say that it was very tasty. There was some somewhat spicy and sweet sauce on it that made the burger taste heavenly. I was very happy and I left with a fairly full stomach. I continued drawing my map for a little longer and decided it was snack time. I went inside and I found the Korean equivalent of Red Bull. It tastes almost exactly like Red Bull (maybe a little sweeter) but it only cost 800W. All you suckers in the US are paying $2.00+ while I am paying a mere $.80. I also found out that I love buying things solely because of their Konglish (note: Konglish is when the English language is butchered when someone tries to translate Korean into English). Let me give you an example. I bought these little sweet corn sticks that had a Koala logo on the front. Here is what they said in English below (I am typing this exactly as it was written on the bag, spelling errors and all. Try reading it out loud. It only makes it better):
"koala means an animal of gentle, optimistic and lovely animal that belongs to a marsupial in Australia. Just like the Koala possess a character of easily to get acquainted with everybody, our company will give present of reasonable-price, various delicious bread to you all. The Manchet which has a meaning of a high quality and high-class bread possess that giving off the taste from the product of the name itselt."
Fantastic. Let's also try the notebook that I picked out solely because of this:
Here is what the cover says:
A Great Person
Design by Barunson
Once the decision is made, let there be no change unless a serious accident happens.
And do your best to achieve aim without discouragement or abandonment.
Here is the inside page:
Barunson + upgrade
A happy world is made up of happy hearts.
We invite you to the joyful world of Barunson.
Refresh your happiness with us everyday.
Upgrade your happiness, Barunson.
Yes it even has that last sentence bold. I love buying things like that. Back to the rest of the day.
So after all the cartography, I decided to meet Audrey at school. It was still a little early so I decided to walk past the school and then come back. As I walked past I noticed the students were getting out. I looked at them and heard, "WOOOOO!" I smiled and continued on. At about 4:30 I came back and walked up to the entrance. There were tons of students near the front entrance and I literally got mobbed on all sides by students coming up to me and saying, "OH! Aud-e-rey's husband!", "You handsome guy!", "Very tall!", "My name is (spoken very fast in Korean)". I was very happy when I heard all of this even though I couldn't say "Hi" to them all. I met up with Audrey and we headed back to the house. I found myself talking as fast as I could in English. I hadn't realized it but all I was saying that day was "Hello" and "Thank you" in Korean. It was strange but I couldn't help but let this flood of English come out as I tried to explain my day to Audrey. I showed her my map (still very proud of it) and then showed her around the town a little bit. We were both hungry so we went to this place where they put a type of slanted grill in front of you and slapped on some pork and beef and we got to cook the meat how we wanted. It was very strange but the beef ended up being very good. After that, we went back home and went to sleep. We still had some signs of jet lag and Audrey wanted to make sure she was energized for school tomorrow.
Side note: I didn't have a watch or clock on me but I had to watch the time because I wanted to meet Audrey. What did I do? I set the camera time to match our alarm clock, turned on the time stamp and randomly took pictures so I would be able to tell what time it was. I was very proud of my resourcefulness and wanted to share that with everyone.
My time is up for this session but I will return again later today and I will post the other two days. Prepare for more long posts and I hope you have enjoyed the blog so far.
Thanks,
Joshua
